A Prop 8 challenge for swankers

[Gemini Cricket]

I was really happy I went to the protest last night. It helped to know that I was not alone in my disgust, anger and grief. Although I thought there was a lack of a "here's where we go from here" plan, I was glad to hear that the people leading the No on 8 campaign were just as unhappy as I was.

Now here's where it gets sticky. The people leading the rally called the Mormon Church out for funding the Yes on 8 campaign. And I am glad they did. Someone needed to do it. I am personally tired of being beaten down by religious groups who kick me in the face and then when there's a retaliation they hide and say 'don't hit me back, I'm a religion'. They can't come out and act like a PAC and then when there is resistance they act like a harmless church. They can not have it both ways.

I'm all for the high road. But it also bugs me when people defend close-minded Christians and say 'I'm a Christian, I'm offended by what you said'. Uh, yeah. If you're not defending the gay community when your church is preaching hate, then spare me your 'hurt feelings'.

And another thing. This is going to sound rough. I absolutely adore my friends and family members who spoke out against Prop 8. I appreciate the anger and grief you feel from the day Prop 8 came on the ballot to today. But part of me is frustrated because I have been feeling that same anger and grief now everyday for the past 10 years that I have been a gay activist and everyday since I came out of the closet 15 years ago. So I say to you, 'Welcome to the club. You should be hurt and angry. Thank you for joining in. Don't just tell me about how you're mad, show me that you're going to do something about it. We need your help.'

I want to share in Obama's win. I am very happy for him and our country. But it's hard to when rights were stripped from me. It's hard to have that hope when someone just kicked me in the teeth. There is an irony that some of the people who voted for Obama in the name of racial equality then voted against homosexuals in the name of religion. It is astounding that anyone who is a minority would gladly and freely take away someone else's rights. Let me be clear, I completely disagree with iSm's statement above. But I share in his anger at the hypocrites who say 'Yes we can' with Obama and then say 'No you can't' to the gay community in the same breath.

I am not about to defend iSm. His comment was completely and totally out of line. And I will vent my further frustration and point out to him that he has said a great number of things in the past that hurt and offended people to only take them back afterward. Know that the hurt still lingers even after a retraction, Mr. iSm. You need to filter that sh!t.

[Alex]

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

This is going to sound rough. I absolutely adore my friends and family members who spoke out against Prop 8. I appreciate the anger and grief you feel from the day Prop 8 came on the ballot to today. But part of me is frustrated because I have been feeling that same anger and grief now everyday for the past 10 years that I have been a gay activist and everyday since I came out of the closet 15 years ago. So I say to you, 'Welcome to the club. You should be hurt and angry. Thank you for joining in. Don't just tell me about how you're mad, show me that you're going to do something about it. We need your help.'

This is the part I'm feeling guilt over. By nature I am not a demonstrative person. I am also not a joiner. Though much reduced over the years I still dread talking to people I don't know, especially if it could be confrontational.

When the Supreme Court ruling came down I said congratulations even though I don't think that the judiciary is the best way to achieve these victories. And I still feel that way, judicial victories before the general population is ready for them tend to inflame rather than settle. And therefore I could sit mostly on the sidelines, letting the main "combatants" slowly move the ball with me doing my small things to advance it and mostly not get in the way.

But, while I was willing to see it achieved (admittedly the more painful path I would not personally bear the brunt of) through the slow road of demographic change, the victory was still won.

And I was overconfident. Overconfident that while I was pretty sure the population wouldn't vote to give gay marriage, they also wouldn't vote to take it away.

And I was lulled. Lulled by the polls showing that while it would be dispiritingly close, it would still fail and that each year after that it would become increasingly unlikely anybody would ever again succeed at doing away with that victory.

So I gnashed my teeth at the Yes on 8 sign wavers. I resisted the urge to pull Yes on 8 signs out of the ground. I convinced myself that the Yes on 8 crowd could not be convinced otherwise, and fortunately for me (or so I thought) they don't need to be convinced. They would lose, and each year they would lose some more. And eventually they would be far enough in the loss column that they would have to hide their views in polite company and then they would begin to die out.

But I was wrong. And while I don't honestly believe a fuller participation on my part would have changed anything, I should have done it anyway.