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I may be a bit confused but I'm seeing some blurring between discussing how people make requests and how people respond to requests.
Lani is more than capable of asking for what she wants but when it comes to responding to an open ended question from me (such as "where do you want to eat") she tries to guess what I must secretly want her to say. She's not trying to manipulate me (or feel me out so I want what she wants) she's just trying to give an answer that'll make me happiest when she doesn't have a strong opinion.
Though we've had this conversation several times:
Me: "Do you want A or B"
Her: "Uh, B. Is that ok?"
Me: "If I weren't fine with B I wouldn't have given you the option."
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