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Old 09-20-2007, 12:01 PM   #1
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Late Breaking News! Iowa Man Beaten with Bag of Cheetos is "OK"

Our National Nightmare is Over. Man beaten with cheetos declared to be recovering, looking forward to moving on with life ...





To read story, click here

Evidence eaten!

Cheetos "Cheetah" claims to know nothing!

Family of beaten man distressed as our nations celebrities show support for snack food!
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Last edited by Tref : 09-20-2007 at 12:12 PM. Reason: "Flamin' hot Cheetos must now be registered with police as tasty snack!"
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Old 09-20-2007, 12:22 PM   #2
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OMG.

This is why I never really want to work for news again.
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Old 09-20-2007, 12:34 PM   #3
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Any punk-assed kid who assaults me with a bag of Cheetos better follow it up with a Slurpee thrown at my head -- if he knows what's good for him.
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Old 09-20-2007, 12:57 PM   #4
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Got those yellowstain blues . . . .
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Old 09-20-2007, 02:09 PM   #5
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In my shady past, I've tied up people using Twizzlers while bitch slapping them with a Ho Ho. It was only because I was sky high after snorting Pixie Stick lines all night with Twinkie The Kid.



I haven't read the story yet, but how does one get injured from a bag of Cheetos? Was the bag of Cheetos glued to the tip of a Louisville slugger? Now I'm gonna have to read that story to find out!
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Old 09-20-2007, 02:21 PM   #6
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I saw this on the news the other day and we wondered how you could possibly be hurt by a bag of cheetos!?
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Old 09-20-2007, 02:49 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cirquelover View Post
I saw this on the news the other day and we wondered how you could possibly be hurt by a bag of cheetos!?
Cholesterol, for one.
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Did you know that Emas eht yltcaxe is exactly the same spelled backwards?!
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Old 09-20-2007, 03:53 PM   #8
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Food Fight!

Man Armed With Onion Attacks Wife!

James Izzolena ... was charged with domestic assault causing injury. Police said he became upset with his wife, Nicole Izzolena, 27, and tossed an onion at her, striking her in the back of the head ... She told police it made her head hurt.

To read story and see photo of Mr. Izzolena (Arresting photograph or Gap ad? You choose!) click here

What does this woman know about the onion?
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Listen in aural 3-D to Pop's muzak!
(New songs added semi-bi-daily)



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Did you know that Emas eht yltcaxe is exactly the same spelled backwards?!
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Old 09-20-2007, 03:56 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tref View Post
Man Armed With Onion Attacks Wife!

James Izzolena ... was charged with domestic assault causing injury. Police said he became upset with his wife, Nicole Izzolena, 27, and tossed an onion at her, striking her in the back of the head ... She told police it made her head hurt.

To read story and see photo of Mr. Izzolena (Arresting photograph or Gap ad? You choose!) click here
Drinking and onions is never a good combo.
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Old 09-20-2007, 04:20 PM   #10
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See? Snack food is dangerous.

However, I don't think there is much cholesterol in Cheetos. Gobs of fat, though.

I love the Hot Cheetos!
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