Hail Mary, Quite Contrary

Gemini Cricket · 10-13-2006, 06:12 AM

My dad (deacon with the Catholic Church in HI) calls me from Nebraska this morning. He's a little miffed with me in that I forgot to tell him that Nebraska is cold this time of year. He's attending a yearly Catholic Church conference there for a nun, Sister Mary, who is ill.

I ask my dad how the conference is going. He says, "Great. (long pause) Brad, I think everyone here is gay."

I laugh.

He tells me that many of the sisters, brothers and fathers there are "family" (a term I use around him to mean "gay" and that he uses now, he doesn't quite get it that only family members use the term, but oh well). He is quite surprised that many of them are coupled, too.

I laugh again.

The people at the conference were quite surprised to see him there. They were expecting Sister Mary. Since there is no Sister Mary, he tells me that now they actually have to have a formal, official meeting. If she had shown up, the event would have been a week long party. Not so now that the Deacon has shown up.

I laugh a third time.

He tells me that the speeches and presentations that were given were slapped together and unrehearsed and boring. I'm thinking it's because they weren't expecting to give them.

On top of that, when my dad got there, a "flaming" (his word) priest came up to him and asked him who he was and asked where Sister Mary was. My dad replied, "I'm Sister Mary."

The priest looked at him with a knowing glance and a grin and said, "Oh, I see."

Fourth laugh.

To cap it all off, my dad makes himself some tea from one of the breakfast carts in the conference room. He opens the tea bag and the whole room starts to smell like potpourri. "WTF?" My dad said to himself.

A priest came up to him and said, "Whoa. What's that smell?"

"My tea." My dad said and showed him the tea bag cover. It read "PASSION" (as in, infused with Passion Fruit or maybe it's a subtle wink to Mel Gibson's snuff film).

The priest looks at the tea bag cover and says, "Well, if you get out of control, I know how to handle it."

I laugh a fifth time.

The call from my dad came at 8am this morning. These early morning calls are usually reserved for emergencies from him. From his point of view, I guess it was.

10-13-2006, 06:12 AM	#1
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Hail Mary, Quite Contrary My dad (deacon with the Catholic Church in HI) calls me from Nebraska this morning. He's a little miffed with me in that I forgot to tell him that Nebraska is cold this time of year. He's attending a yearly Catholic Church conference there for a nun, Sister Mary, who is ill. I ask my dad how the conference is going. He says, "Great. (long pause) Brad, I think everyone here is gay." I laugh. He tells me that many of the sisters, brothers and fathers there are "family" (a term I use around him to mean "gay" and that he uses now, he doesn't quite get it that only family members use the term, but oh well). He is quite surprised that many of them are coupled, too. I laugh again. The people at the conference were quite surprised to see him there. They were expecting Sister Mary. Since there is no Sister Mary, he tells me that now they actually have to have a formal, official meeting. If she had shown up, the event would have been a week long party. Not so now that the Deacon has shown up. I laugh a third time. He tells me that the speeches and presentations that were given were slapped together and unrehearsed and boring. I'm thinking it's because they weren't expecting to give them. On top of that, when my dad got there, a "flaming" (his word) priest came up to him and asked him who he was and asked where Sister Mary was. My dad replied, "I'm Sister Mary." The priest looked at him with a knowing glance and a grin and said, "Oh, I see." Fourth laugh. To cap it all off, my dad makes himself some tea from one of the breakfast carts in the conference room. He opens the tea bag and the whole room starts to smell like potpourri. "WTF?" My dad said to himself. A priest came up to him and said, "Whoa. What's that smell?" "My tea." My dad said and showed him the tea bag cover. It read "PASSION" (as in, infused with Passion Fruit or maybe it's a subtle wink to Mel Gibson's snuff film). The priest looks at the tea bag cover and says, "Well, if you get out of control, I know how to handle it." I laugh a fifth time. The call from my dad came at 8am this morning. These early morning calls are usually reserved for emergencies from him. From his point of view, I guess it was.
	Submit to Quotes