Now, this is a bad sentence (from a bad novel)

flippyshark · 05-16-2005, 08:09 PM

Okay, so I am reading the third in a series of terrible novels known as the MEG series. (Giant megalodon sharks terrorize people. The publicity blurb sums it up nicely: Jurassic Shark)

Anyhow, author Steve Alten is not exactly Melville. (He's not even Peter Benchley, which is really saying something.) He cranks out wildly improbable storylines with great enthusiasm. I don't think he does much proofreading. I submit the following sentence, which I swear I am not making up. I think I can safely say that this is the worst sentence I have ever encountered in a novel published by a major house. (Actually, it's a sentence fragment! I include the sentence immediately preceding it for context.) Here goes:

"A woman in a scarlet skintight bodysuit approaches. Shoulder length brown hair, late twenties, dripping with attitude and nipples."

Now, THAT'S quality writing!

Kevy Baby · 05-16-2005, 08:15 PM

Do the sharks eat corndogs?

And sorry - that line was just too classic not to steal.

flippyshark · 05-16-2005, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

Do the sharks eat corndogs?

Alas, no corn dogs thus far. The shark has eaten some sea lions, a whale shark and an already dead sea turtle, and narrowly missed a couple of people, but I'm only on page 75. (One character has died of a heart attack after seeing the 75 foot shark.

)

wendybeth · 05-16-2005, 08:16 PM

Lol! Drippy nipples....ewwwww.

Ghoulish Delight · 05-16-2005, 08:20 PM

Great. Now I have Dali-esque visions of dripping nipples.

Kevy Baby · 05-16-2005, 08:23 PM

Drippy nipples
In the wine
Make me happy
Make me feel fine

Drippy nipples
Make me warm all over
With a feeling that I'm gonna
Love you till the end of time

Not Afraid · 05-16-2005, 08:33 PM

Maybe she should see her hairdresser to get those nipples out of her hair.

Why are you reading these books again????????? (And "Sharks" is not a good enough answer.)

flippyshark · 05-16-2005, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

Why are you reading these books again????????? (And "Sharks" is not a good enough answer.)

(Hangs his head in shame) It's the sharks.

Not Afraid · 05-16-2005, 08:53 PM

D'oh!

Matterhorn Fan · 05-16-2005, 09:04 PM

At least he waited until it came out in paperback. Which is better than he did for The Trench.

05-16-2005, 08:09 PM	#1
flippyshark Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 2,852	Now, this is a bad sentence (from a bad novel) Okay, so I am reading the third in a series of terrible novels known as the MEG series. (Giant megalodon sharks terrorize people. The publicity blurb sums it up nicely: Jurassic Shark) Anyhow, author Steve Alten is not exactly Melville. (He's not even Peter Benchley, which is really saying something.) He cranks out wildly improbable storylines with great enthusiasm. I don't think he does much proofreading. I submit the following sentence, which I swear I am not making up. I think I can safely say that this is the worst sentence I have ever encountered in a novel published by a major house. (Actually, it's a sentence fragment! I include the sentence immediately preceding it for context.) Here goes: "A woman in a scarlet skintight bodysuit approaches. Shoulder length brown hair, late twenties, dripping with attitude and nipples." Now, THAT'S quality writing!
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05-16-2005, 08:15 PM	#2
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	Do the sharks eat corndogs? And sorry - that line was just too classic not to steal. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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05-16-2005, 08:16 PM	#4
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	Lol! Drippy nipples....ewwwww. __________________
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05-16-2005, 08:20 PM	#5
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	Great. Now I have Dali-esque visions of dripping nipples. __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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05-16-2005, 08:23 PM	#6
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	Drippy nipples In the wine Make me happy Make me feel fine Drippy nipples Make me warm all over With a feeling that I'm gonna Love you till the end of time __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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05-16-2005, 08:33 PM	#7
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	Maybe she should see her hairdresser to get those nipples out of her hair. Why are you reading these books again????????? (And "Sharks" is not a good enough answer.)
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05-16-2005, 08:53 PM	#9
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	D'oh!
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05-16-2005, 09:04 PM	#10
Matterhorn Fan Double Agent Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Back East Posts: 2,071	At least he waited until it came out in paperback. Which is better than he did for The Trench.
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