Bad Erotica (NSFW)

Kevy Baby · 05-13-2007, 10:21 AM

Someone forwarded this to me and it amused me greatly

Nerve.com's Bad Erotica Contest

The opening two paragraphs of the grand prize winner (hidden just in case someone missed the "Not Safe For Work" in the title - yeah, I know it doesn't make much difference Alex, but I did it anyways):

Spoiler:

Motorboat Cruiser · 05-13-2007, 11:00 AM

Wow, that was amazingly bad.

CoasterMatt · 05-13-2007, 11:36 AM

hahahaha!

Capt Jack · 05-13-2007, 01:19 PM

Betty · 05-13-2007, 03:18 PM

Quote:

as his toothless mouth gummed her

Ew is an understatment!

( you simply must read it - majestic 7 fingers? lol... I don't want to spoil all the fun for you)

JWBear · 05-13-2007, 05:54 PM

If weren't already gay, those stories would turn me!

Alex · 05-13-2007, 07:46 PM

I think a completely necessary element of bad erotica (or any kind of writing) is that the author intend that it be good.

Not Afraid · 05-13-2007, 08:20 PM

Is the word "lascivious" used often? That was a VERY popular word in "The Violated Model". (This gem was found by Chris on a tennis court in 1978.)

thecorndogwalker · 05-15-2007, 05:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

She belonged to him before his supple buttocks pressed aggressively against the tattered faux-leather covering of the barstool.[/spoiler]

Never press aggressively against tattered faux-leather furniture....

innerSpaceman · 05-15-2007, 08:14 AM

And, completely negating the faux-safety effect of Kevy's spoiler tag, I cannot overestimate the hilarity effect of reading the first tagged line while looking at Kevy's current avatar:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bad Erotica

She woke with the taste of his turgid penis on her lips. Even though he was gone, his juices and manhood lingered in her mind and on her cloying lips like Vaseline.

05-13-2007, 10:21 AM	#1
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	Bad Erotica (NSFW) Someone forwarded this to me and it amused me greatly Nerve.com's Bad Erotica Contest The opening two paragraphs of the grand prize winner (hidden just in case someone missed the "Not Safe For Work" in the title - yeah, I know it doesn't make much difference Alex, but I did it anyways): Spoiler: She woke with the taste of his turgid penis on her lips. Even though he was gone, his juices and manhood lingered in her mind and on her cloying lips like Vaseline. The events of the previous night came racing back to her, clogging her mind with visions of ecstasy. She had never known a man like Julio before. When he came and boldly sat next to her, the musky scent of his manliness turned her from tigress to gentle kitten. She belonged to him before his supple buttocks pressed aggressively against the tattered faux-leather covering of the barstool. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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05-13-2007, 11:00 AM	#2
Motorboat Cruiser Cruiser of Motorboats Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: So Cal Posts: 3,665	Wow, that was amazingly bad.
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05-13-2007, 11:36 AM	#3
CoasterMatt BRAAAAAAAINS! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: One Step Beyond... Posts: 8,802	hahahaha! __________________ Do you like my photography? Visit photosbymatt.tumblr.com to purchase prints!
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05-13-2007, 01:19 PM	#4
Capt Jack check your head Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,174	ew __________________ a clear conscience is a sure sign of a fuzzy memory
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05-13-2007, 05:54 PM	#6
JWBear Worn Romantic Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Long Beach California Posts: 8,435	If weren't already gay, those stories would turn me! __________________ Unrestrained frivolity will lead to the downfall of modern society.
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05-13-2007, 07:46 PM	#7
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	I think a completely necessary element of bad erotica (or any kind of writing) is that the author intend that it be good.
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05-13-2007, 08:20 PM	#8
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	Is the word "lascivious" used often? That was a VERY popular word in "The Violated Model". (This gem was found by Chris on a tennis court in 1978.)
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