Late Breaking News! Iowa Man Beaten with Bag of Cheetos is "OK"

Tref · 09-20-2007, 12:01 PM

Our National Nightmare is Over. Man beaten with cheetos declared to be recovering, looking forward to moving on with life ...

To read story, click here

Evidence eaten!

Cheetos "Cheetah" claims to know nothing!

Family of beaten man distressed as our nations celebrities show support for snack food!

Disneyphile · 09-20-2007, 12:22 PM

OMG.

This is why I never really want to work for news again.

SacTown Chronic · 09-20-2007, 12:34 PM

Any punk-assed kid who assaults me with a bag of Cheetos better follow it up with a Slurpee thrown at my head -- if he knows what's good for him.

Strangler Lewis · 09-20-2007, 12:57 PM

Got those yellowstain blues . . . .

AllyOops! · 09-20-2007, 02:09 PM

In my shady past, I've tied up people using Twizzlers while bitch slapping them with a Ho Ho. It was only because I was sky high after snorting Pixie Stick lines all night with Twinkie The Kid.

I haven't read the story yet, but how does one get injured from a bag of Cheetos? Was the bag of Cheetos glued to the tip of a Louisville slugger? Now I'm gonna have to read that story to find out!

cirquelover · 09-20-2007, 02:21 PM

I saw this on the news the other day and we wondered how you could possibly be hurt by a bag of cheetos!?

Tref · 09-20-2007, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cirquelover

I saw this on the news the other day and we wondered how you could possibly be hurt by a bag of cheetos!?

Cholesterol, for one.

Tref · 09-20-2007, 03:53 PM

Man Armed With Onion Attacks Wife!

James Izzolena ... was charged with domestic assault causing injury. Police said he became upset with his wife, Nicole Izzolena, 27, and tossed an onion at her, striking her in the back of the head ... She told police it made her head hurt.

To read story and see photo of Mr. Izzolena (Arresting photograph or Gap ad? You choose!) click here

What does this woman know about the onion?

DreadPirateRoberts · 09-20-2007, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tref

Man Armed With Onion Attacks Wife!

James Izzolena ... was charged with domestic assault causing injury. Police said he became upset with his wife, Nicole Izzolena, 27, and tossed an onion at her, striking her in the back of the head ... She told police it made her head hurt.

To read story and see photo of Mr. Izzolena (Arresting photograph or Gap ad? You choose!) click here

Drinking and onions is never a good combo.

RStar · 09-20-2007, 04:20 PM

See? Snack food is dangerous.

However, I don't think there is much cholesterol in Cheetos. Gobs of fat, though.

I love the Hot Cheetos!

09-20-2007, 12:01 PM	#1
Tref Not Tref Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,188	Late Breaking News! Iowa Man Beaten with Bag of Cheetos is "OK" Our National Nightmare is Over. Man beaten with cheetos declared to be recovering, looking forward to moving on with life ... To read story, click here Evidence eaten! Cheetos "Cheetah" claims to know nothing! Family of beaten man distressed as our nations celebrities show support for snack food! __________________ Tref3.0 Listen in aural 3-D to Pop's muzak! (New songs added semi-bi-daily) j & j Did you know that Emas eht yltcaxe is exactly the same spelled backwards?! Last edited by Tref : 09-20-2007 at 12:12 PM. Reason: "Flamin' hot Cheetos must now be registered with police as tasty snack!"
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09-20-2007, 12:22 PM	#2
Disneyphile SQUIRREL! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: On the curbside. Posts: 5,098	OMG. This is why I never really want to work for news again.
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09-20-2007, 12:34 PM	#3
SacTown Chronic the myth of the dream Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,217	Any punk-assed kid who assaults me with a bag of Cheetos better follow it up with a Slurpee thrown at my head -- if he knows what's good for him.
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09-20-2007, 12:57 PM	#4
Strangler Lewis Doing The Job Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In a state Posts: 3,956	Got those yellowstain blues . . . . __________________ Live now-pay later. Diner's Club!
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09-20-2007, 02:09 PM	#5
AllyOops! It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Introspection Intersection Posts: 1,207	In my shady past, I've tied up people using Twizzlers while bitch slapping them with a Ho Ho. It was only because I was sky high after snorting Pixie Stick lines all night with Twinkie The Kid. I haven't read the story yet, but how does one get injured from a bag of Cheetos? Was the bag of Cheetos glued to the tip of a Louisville slugger? Now I'm gonna have to read that story to find out!
	Submit to Quotes

09-20-2007, 02:21 PM	#6
cirquelover Cruising around in my automobile... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Oregon Posts: 2,617	I saw this on the news the other day and we wondered how you could possibly be hurt by a bag of cheetos!?
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09-20-2007, 03:53 PM	#8
Tref Not Tref Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,188	Food Fight! Man Armed With Onion Attacks Wife! James Izzolena ... was charged with domestic assault causing injury. Police said he became upset with his wife, Nicole Izzolena, 27, and tossed an onion at her, striking her in the back of the head ... She told police it made her head hurt. To read story and see photo of Mr. Izzolena (Arresting photograph or Gap ad? You choose!) click here What does this woman know about the onion? __________________ Tref3.0 Listen in aural 3-D to Pop's muzak! (New songs added semi-bi-daily) j & j Did you know that Emas eht yltcaxe is exactly the same spelled backwards?!
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09-20-2007, 04:20 PM	#10
RStar Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Me & Manyard hangin out! Posts: 5,433	See? Snack food is dangerous. However, I don't think there is much cholesterol in Cheetos. Gobs of fat, though. I love the Hot Cheetos! __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup! www.StarTownGifts.com
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