Why Did I Refuse This Random Act of Kindness? - Page 2

Tref · 11-18-2007, 10:09 AM

"If it's free, it's for me"

I would have accepted the drink and if there had been a sales pitch I would have listened quietly for a few seconds and said, No, but thanks for Venti Soy No Foam Latte!

Its true you have to be very careful these days. It seems everything comes with a string attached, even free string. But that doesn't mean you have to put your head in the sand either. Next time, just engage the person in a conversation, find out what its all about. Maybe you'll come away with a good story.

Strangler Lewis · 11-18-2007, 10:29 AM

The Starbucks line is like the communion line. It is a time to prepare your soul in happy anticipation and quiet contemplation of what you are about to partake in. (Unless the Starbucks line is too long--then it's a pisser.) While I would not have walked out, what he did was inexcusable.

innerSpaceman · 11-18-2007, 10:37 AM

I've got no taste for your gut, but I'm gonna have to play devil's advocate and declare, from mine, that you were a tad rude, unnecessarily fearful, and socially inappropriate to simply refuse a too-rare kindness of an inconsequential nature in this crass day and age.

Tref · 11-18-2007, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strangler Lewis

While I would not have walked out, what he did was inexcusable.

How dare he!

We must come together children and fight this scourge against society called, human interaction!

Put on your Ipods! Talk on your mo-bile phones! Carry your laptop --- everywhere!

Keep your eyes focused on your shoes and do not dare brush up against anybody. Do not smile at children. And do not offer up a good deed to anybody!

CoasterMatt · 11-18-2007, 12:29 PM

Not that I would ever set foot in a Starbucks in the first place, but what's with all the paranoias? It's not like you were in a bar in Mexico and he was offering you lemonade in a plastic cup...

3894 · 11-18-2007, 01:05 PM

Yeah and I'm not shy about talking with strangers. It's pretty much what I do as part of my assistant anthropologist gig.

Was it that the kind stranger was so much younger or male or that I was thinking in the back of my mind Maybe Tom has helped him but the stranger didn't want to say anything in such a public space* and I wanted Tom to myself for that brief time at Starbucks or ...?

I don't know. I was unnecessarily rude. That much is for sure. The Case of the Starbucks Stranger remains a mystery to me. I'm usually a shade less bitchy.

*Think something like psychiatrist and you're close.

wendybeth · 11-18-2007, 01:08 PM

I think that's why Helen posted this thread- to try and figure out her response. I think she was acting instinctively, and I find it interesting that nearly all of the responses taking her to task for her actions are from the LoT guys. (Excepting GC and Rstar). Could it be that women's intuition was at work here? Oftentimes, it's so strong that it just kicks in and we react before we have time to think about it. I'm going with the idea that Helen knew something wasn't quite right here- she is not a rude or unintelligent woman, and I think her 'gut' knew something wasn't right. In fact, Helen is probably one of the most gracious persons on the LoT, so I totally disagree with the 'rude' assessments.

BarTopDancer · 11-18-2007, 01:47 PM

Helen - you could always offer to buy the person behind you a drink the next time you're at a Starbucks to "right the cosmos" if you still feel bad.

Morrigoon · 11-18-2007, 02:09 PM

Right to be wary, wrong to walk out. Interesting reaction. I think we're missing some essential element, some environmental signal you picked up on that you don't remember or haven't shared.

But sometime people are nice because t occurs to them to be nice. Perhaps he had a bit of good fortune and was trying to pay back the cosmos by bringing a little sunshine into a random stranger's day. You just don't know.

I think if you ever see him again,, you buy him a coffee, and just explain that it was an instinctual reaction you felt bad about later.

Sometimes we just react strangely to things, but humans have a "first response" instinct for a reason. Even though it's not always the best response socially, instinct's first priority is survival. So "it is what it is" ((sorry GC)

€uroMeinke · 11-18-2007, 02:48 PM

Did your husband walk out with you as well? He seemed amiable to the treat from what little you shared.

Perhaps it's Oedipal, the act of buying your drink somehow emasculating your husband, leaving you at their mercies - a subconscious quid pro quo that you didn't want to enter or even consider.

That Latte, a steaming hot cup of illicit sex...

That's my Freudian interpretation anyway

11-18-2007, 10:09 AM	#11
Tref Not Tref Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,188	"If it's free, it's for me" I would have accepted the drink and if there had been a sales pitch I would have listened quietly for a few seconds and said, No, but thanks for Venti Soy No Foam Latte! Its true you have to be very careful these days. It seems everything comes with a string attached, even free string. But that doesn't mean you have to put your head in the sand either. Next time, just engage the person in a conversation, find out what its all about. Maybe you'll come away with a good story. __________________ Tref3.0 Listen in aural 3-D to Pop's muzak! (New songs added semi-bi-daily) j & j Did you know that Emas eht yltcaxe is exactly the same spelled backwards?!
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11-18-2007, 10:29 AM	#12
Strangler Lewis Doing The Job Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In a state Posts: 3,956	The Starbucks line is like the communion line. It is a time to prepare your soul in happy anticipation and quiet contemplation of what you are about to partake in. (Unless the Starbucks line is too long--then it's a pisser.) While I would not have walked out, what he did was inexcusable. __________________ Live now-pay later. Diner's Club!
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11-18-2007, 10:37 AM	#13
innerSpaceman Kink of Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Inner Space Posts: 13,075	I've got no taste for your gut, but I'm gonna have to play devil's advocate and declare, from mine, that you were a tad rude, unnecessarily fearful, and socially inappropriate to simply refuse a too-rare kindness of an inconsequential nature in this crass day and age.
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11-18-2007, 12:29 PM	#15
CoasterMatt BRAAAAAAAINS! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: One Step Beyond... Posts: 8,802	Not that I would ever set foot in a Starbucks in the first place, but what's with all the paranoias? It's not like you were in a bar in Mexico and he was offering you lemonade in a plastic cup... __________________ Do you like my photography? Visit photosbymatt.tumblr.com to purchase prints!
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11-18-2007, 01:05 PM	#16
3894 Next Stop: Funkytown! Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Cheeselandia Posts: 1,907	Yeah and I'm not shy about talking with strangers. It's pretty much what I do as part of my assistant anthropologist gig. Was it that the kind stranger was so much younger or male or that I was thinking in the back of my mind Maybe Tom has helped him but the stranger didn't want to say anything in such a public space* and I wanted Tom to myself for that brief time at Starbucks or ...? I don't know. I was unnecessarily rude. That much is for sure. The Case of the Starbucks Stranger remains a mystery to me. I'm usually a shade less bitchy. *Think something like psychiatrist and you're close. __________________ "I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder." - Flynn Rider, "Tangled"
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11-18-2007, 01:08 PM	#17
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	I think that's why Helen posted this thread- to try and figure out her response. I think she was acting instinctively, and I find it interesting that nearly all of the responses taking her to task for her actions are from the LoT guys. (Excepting GC and Rstar). Could it be that women's intuition was at work here? Oftentimes, it's so strong that it just kicks in and we react before we have time to think about it. I'm going with the idea that Helen knew something wasn't quite right here- she is not a rude or unintelligent woman, and I think her 'gut' knew something wasn't right. In fact, Helen is probably one of the most gracious persons on the LoT, so I totally disagree with the 'rude' assessments. __________________
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11-18-2007, 01:47 PM	#18
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	Helen - you could always offer to buy the person behind you a drink the next time you're at a Starbucks to "right the cosmos" if you still feel bad. __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge
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11-18-2007, 02:09 PM	#19
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	Right to be wary, wrong to walk out. Interesting reaction. I think we're missing some essential element, some environmental signal you picked up on that you don't remember or haven't shared. But sometime people are nice because t occurs to them to be nice. Perhaps he had a bit of good fortune and was trying to pay back the cosmos by bringing a little sunshine into a random stranger's day. You just don't know. I think if you ever see him again,, you buy him a coffee, and just explain that it was an instinctual reaction you felt bad about later. Sometimes we just react strangely to things, but humans have a "first response" instinct for a reason. Even though it's not always the best response socially, instinct's first priority is survival. So "it is what it is" ((sorry GC) __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
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11-18-2007, 02:48 PM	#20
€uroMeinke L'Hédoniste Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: A.S.C.O.T. Posts: 8,671	Did your husband walk out with you as well? He seemed amiable to the treat from what little you shared. Perhaps it's Oedipal, the act of buying your drink somehow emasculating your husband, leaving you at their mercies - a subconscious quid pro quo that you didn't want to enter or even consider. That Latte, a steaming hot cup of illicit sex... That's my Freudian interpretation anyway __________________ I would believe only in a God that knows how to Dance. Friedrich Nietzsche
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