You Know You're REALLY a Redneck When...

second class citizen · 11-15-2008, 12:33 PM

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

CoasterMatt · 11-15-2008, 12:56 PM

Sadly, #6 applies to a member of my family.

lashbear · 11-15-2008, 02:29 PM

#2 is us....... We usually joke that everytime we fill up with Gas, we double the value of the truck.

...Almost true nowadays since it now costs between $80 - $90 for a full tank of gas...

Cadaverous Pallor · 11-16-2008, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by second class citizen

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

Hmm, turns out I know a lot of rednecks.

Morrigoon · 11-16-2008, 03:32 PM

Gay is the new black AND the new redneck?

Melonballer · 11-16-2008, 11:45 PM

I got one....

You know you are a redneck when you will not eat in the French restaurant in Epcot because France did not support us in the war on Iraq.

When my uncle did that, that's when I realized he was a redneck.

Kevy Baby · 11-17-2008, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melonballer

I got one....

You know you are a redneck when you will not eat in the French restaurant in Epcot because France did not support us in the war on Iraq.

When my uncle did that, that's when I realized he was a redneck.

Does he call the fried potatoes that he gets with his Big Mac and Coke at McDonalds?

11-15-2008, 12:33 PM	#1
second class citizen Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 135	You Know You're REALLY a Redneck When... 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. 5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. 6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this." 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 9. Your junior prom offered day care. 10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines." 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. __________________ An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he, for some reason, thinks it would be a good idea to give them." - Andy Warhol
	Submit to Quotes

11-15-2008, 12:56 PM	#2
CoasterMatt BRAAAAAAAINS! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: One Step Beyond... Posts: 8,802	Sadly, #6 applies to a member of my family. __________________ Do you like my photography? Visit photosbymatt.tumblr.com to purchase prints!
	Submit to Quotes

11-15-2008, 02:29 PM	#3
lashbear SwishBuckling Bear Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In Isolation :) Posts: 6,597	#2 is us....... We usually joke that everytime we fill up with Gas, we double the value of the truck. ...Almost true nowadays since it now costs between $80 - $90 for a full tank of gas... __________________ *I Heart* my Husband - I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in isolation with.**
	Submit to Quotes

11-16-2008, 03:32 PM	#5
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	Gay is the new black AND the new redneck? __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
	Submit to Quotes

11-16-2008, 11:45 PM	#6
Melonballer Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Bremerton, WA Posts: 222	I got one.... You know you are a redneck when you will not eat in the French restaurant in Epcot because France did not support us in the war on Iraq. When my uncle did that, that's when I realized he was a redneck.
	Submit to Quotes