Poor, poor Paris Hilton

[AllyOops!]

You know, I'm going to receive flack o' plenty, but the picture of Paris weeping in the back seat of the sheriff's cruiser breaks my heart. Crying faces always make me sad.

However, on to more pressing issues. I can't help but wonder what the strip search was like (and now there will be another one!) It has to be some wild adventure spelunking in Paris' vagina. Imagine the finds! The Lost City of Gold..Atlantis..Paris Latsis. We haven't seen him since they broke up, you know. Repelling into a va-jay-jay is definitely worth, like, holiday pay.