Ta Ta Jesse Helms

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Oh, my. I'm certainly not defending the man. Not whatsoever. All along I've said I have always been angered by the many harmful things he's said. And that still is completely true.

What I am saying is certainly not in defense of him. And I similarly believe that there is nothing harmful about gay sex. But what I have said (several times now) I think that calling someone evil because their moral code is different than yours isn't going to get anyone anywhere. It will ruin any chance of proving to them, directly and through personal interaction and example, that what they believe is untrue.

When people believe, firmly, in what a religious text has to say... well, there's a lot of things I could say about that, but doing so would be hurtful to the people in my life to whom religion brings much strength and comfort. What I will say is that they will likely believe it until something or someone real and in front of them changes their minds. All of us has the power to be that person - to change people's minds through positive action and honesty and kindness.

You discounting someone's religious beliefs (and in many cases, homophobia stems from a religious belief) is doing exactly what they're terrified of. They're terrified of their own little world coming crumbling down. But your love for your partner isn't going to crumble anyone's world - you know that, I know that. Anyone who sees it, really sees it, knows it too.

I'm not saying that homophobia deserves to be excused; I'm saying quite the opposite. I'm saying we need to change this world for the better, by showing people that love is love, in any form it takes. Honestly - because I believe in a higher power - I believe that love is divine. And I've spent a lot of time trying to show people that relationships like MBC's, for instance, or yours, are every bit as beautiful and divine as mine is. But discounting someone's religious beliefs - shutting them down before you even get the chance to share your love with them - isn't actually going to accomplish that.

Nowhere am I asking you to stop speaking out against the ways he harmed our society. But if any of us are going to make a difference in this conservative war against your rights, it's not going to be by telling each other how evil he was. Because that's never going to convince the legions of frightened (and in my opinion, dreadfully misguided) people who are still alive, who believe what he believed. Because, in that manner of circular logic, you're telling them they're evil, they're telling you you're evil. Deadlock. If we sit down with that uncle who's homophobic, that coworker who doesn't understand, that child who needs to know the truth... THAT is how we can make people understand.

I don't celebrate him. I don't feel hatred. I don't even feel disgust. I feel a deep pity for the man, who lived his life without really knowing the full beauty of it. What a sad, limited person, who never got to experience the peace and love that is possible. How terrible that he never made a personal connection that helped him change his mind.