The LoT High School Reunion

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Visible mojo for Gn2Dlnd, since I can't mojo you. What a cutie!

My high school self saw no reason to put in effort in class. Very unlike me as I am now. I tell my coworkers I was (barely) a C student and they don't believe me. I had no plan, no goals whatsoever, in any facet of my life. My family had no idea how to instill such a concept. Life was merely tolerated as a means to the end of watching television and generally doing nothing. I did have a love of information and learning for its own sake, but as soon as it was structured in any way, I was out.

I hated nearly all of my teachers, probably mostly because they had power over me. I did love Academic Decathlon (and scored best in team) for some very simple reasons: There wasn't a teacher, there was a coach; the information I learned was all new to me and involved new ways of thinking about technology, art, etc; and it was a competition.

I briefly dated a boy who, a couple years after we broke up, died in a car accident. I had a guy on the football team chase me a while, but it quickly turned from flirting to stalking. Instead, I dated a guy who turned out to be gay (and more than a little crazy, too). After high school I still knew nothing about relationships, as these never went further than kissing.

My wardrobe was 90% hand-me-downs and thrift shop purchases. I wore my mom's 70's clothing, mixed with the few pieces I bought from the local skimpy slutty chick shop (which I often biked to). One day it was slashed men's jeans and men's flannels, the next it was tiny jeans shorts with bright tights underneath and a too-large t-shirt.

I don't cringe when looking back at myself then. For some reason I still "own it" with all of its faults. Yup, that was me, dressed like a tomboy and a whore at the same time, sitting with the misfits that I hated, eventually getting my personality in order so I could make some real friends and have some real fun. It was what it was, and I could never ask her to be anything else, as I still understand her and her (lack of) motivation.