State of the Union Address

[innerSpaceman]

I listened to about half an hour, and couldn't stand any more. Sorry.

[Nephythys]

heh- more than I did. Not a word.

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

I listened to about half an hour, and couldn't stand any more. Sorry.

Fess up- you were playing the State of the Union drinking game and got pasted, right?

[innerSpaceman]

oh, that would have been waaay more fun. When do you have to take a shot? Every time George embarrases himself, everytime he tells a flat-out lie, or every time he seems incredibly delusional?

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by Betty

If you're going to watch - maybe this/ will make it easier.

Many thanks to Betty for this one!

An excerpt:

EVENT

# of Drinks

Every time he says....

“The state of our union is strong…” (or some version of this)

1
+1 if he breaks down in tears

"the American people"

1

troops

small 1

surge

quick 1

Iraq

1

Baghdad

1

"sectarian violence"

1 Car Bomb
recipe

Iran

1

terror (however it’s pronounced)

small 1

detainees

1, with your hands behind your back

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

2 (+1 if he pronounces it correctly)

Saddam Hussein or Saddam

1

elections

1 if referring to another country's
2 if referring to the 2006 midterms

freedom

1

Homeland

1 if followed by "Security"; 2 if another context

"Bring it on"

Arm-wrestle the person next to you; loser drinks

“nukular”

1

bipartisan or bipartisanship

2 (+1 if followed by giggle or chuckle)

"addicted to oil"

shot of extra-virgin olive oil

Medicare or Medicaid

wait a really long time to get a drink you really need

education

1 (+1 if mispronounced)

"human-animal hybrid"

What do centaurs and mermaids drink, anyway??

"illegal immigration"

1 shot of cerveza/tequila

God (or any euphemism for God)

2

sacrifice

1 - in the context of the armed forces
2 - for civilians

"fiscal discipline" or "smaller government" or "responsible government"

if you're a:
congressman/lobbyist: Cristal, laugh derisively
private/other public sector employee: Andre, look glum

"tax burden"

1

hydrogen

shout "Oh, the humanity!", take 1 shot

ethanol*
* With all of the ethanol "serious players" of this game will consume, they will be their own alternative energy source by about 10pm.

We think you can figure this one out...

evil or evildoers

2

Ban Ki Moon

shot of kimchi-infused vodka

Mark Foley

one shot of Scotch, aged 16 years

"macaca"

Invite George Allen for a drink - he doesn't have anything better to do...

"Don't mess with Texas!"

Locate the nearest Texan; mess with him/her; then drink

[Isaac]

Holy crap!

At that rate we'd all be passed out before the address was over!

[Motorboat Cruiser]

There's a recipe for alcohol poisoning.

[Motorboat Cruiser]

So, he is going to balance the budget, but not raise taxes or end the war. And on top of that, he is going to somehow miraculously fund all of this other stuff he intends to do. Is that pretty much it?

What a strange ritual, this SOTU address. The Republicans know that none of the stuff they like is going to get done. The Dems know that none of the stuff they like is going to get done. The president knows that none of it is going to get done, and finally, we know it isn't going to get done. And through all of this bullsh*t, there is mandatory applause after every friggin sentence. How bipartisan of everyone.

It's damn near comical, if it weren't so repulsive.

[Alex]

When I am president I will return to the pre-Wilsonian practice of just having the state of the union report delivered to congress in written form.

And since the constitution doesn't require it to be annual I'll put it off (like I do all report writing) until absolutely required (and send it on my last day in office after pulling an all nighter and having a midnight breakfast at IHOP).

[Snowflake]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

oh, that would have been waaay more fun. When do you have to take a shot? Every time George embarrases himself, everytime he tells a flat-out lie, or every time he seems incredibly delusional?

So that would be every time he opens his mouth, right? I would not last 5 minutes.