Commodification of sex

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

To be "sexy," one has to appeal sexually to the object of one's desire/purpose.

I would disagree with that statement. Feeling "sexy" sometimes has nothing to do with an object of desire-- tangible or intangible. For instance, I used to own a little blue dress. It was cute and draped perfectly around my cleavage. I remember vividly the feeling of sexiness in that dress, not because I cared if the robots at the insurance company noticed, but because I was attracted to myself when I wore it. Single women wear lingerie to bed sometimes, or wear racy panties, and it isn't always for an audience. Sexiness for sexiness' sake is allowed.

As far as the commodification of sexuality-- my concern with prostitution, porn, and stripping is for the women who feel as though they have no other choice. There's also an unusually high rate of survivors of sexual abuse within the strip industry, and my experience at a strip club once sort of dripped of sadness-- they certainly didn't seem to be enjoying their job. (And while I admit I'm really not visually stimulated, sexually speaking, I don't think that observation was colored by my concern-- in fact, it was the basis of it.) If it makes them happy, that's great. But I am not naive enough to believe that all of them are.

That said, Chris is right that there isn't one homogenous "female sexuality." Though I'm not visually stimulated, it doesn't mean that there are no women who are. And though I've come to desire a deeper, spiritual connection sexually, it doesn't mean that we all do. Desires differ.

I was shocked to listen to a woman in my life describe her desire to limit her son's MTV watching, because she didn't want her son to get a skewed idea of women and sex. "Women don't want sex," she said, "they don't just chase you down the hall." Well, here in my home they do. That conversation proved to me that women's sexuality isn't just one set of rules or one checklist of what's necessary for the feeling of desire.