Miss Teen South Carolina: What the HELL are you talking baout?

[Strangler Lewis]

What's wrong with that answer? This was the Miss Sh**-for-brains pageant, wasn't it?

Back in 1991, one of my law school friends, a burnt out violinist, was going out with a Curtis Institute trained opera singer. On a whim, she entered Miss Chicago and won. On to Miss Illinois, where she won. On to Miss America, where her "issue" was AIDS, and she was the National Enquirer pick to win (and they're hardly ever wrong). She did not win. The rather limited Miss Hawaii won. Her "issue," apparently, was the Donald. My friend, who attended, said that Donald was seen giving the thumbs up sign to the judges. The next year, Miss Florida, whose issue was AIDS, won.