Body Image...

[Nephythys]

I loathe my body image- sometimes dangerously so.

4 kids, the fact that I tend to eat when I am stressed, several abdominal surgeries which have left scars and all sorts of hills and dimples in my already pudgy tummy and add cellulite to the mix and the fact that I am chronically sedentary.....well, you have a disaster.

I'm tall and so I get away with alot- but I can see the damage weight and gravity is doing to my body. I can guarantee that if I would just do some moderate exercise I would lose weight because I do not eat excessively all the time and not all that fatty of foods either.

But I don't. I don't know why.

I know another part of my image issues is my wardrobe since I need to dress business casual 4 days out of the week- and I have not bought work clothes since before Rose was born. Oh I have gotten a piece here and there- but nothing that makes me feel very comfortable and competent.

I finally bought new clothes yesterday- which I consider pretty healthy. Reason being that I think I have resisted buying clothes in bigger sizes-I finally accepted that I would be happier and more comfortable in a size that fits me- even if I don't want to be that size in 6 months to a year.

I feel ugly- even though I know I am not. I feel undesireable- and I blame Jupiter It is within my power to change this image- but I find it hard to start on that road.