Advice request: How to do with stupid relatives?

[BarTopDancer]

Beat them with a bat.

Or regain control and carry on with your plans (if your MIL won't be insulted) and give them the gift you gave. If the plans weren't to important and your wife wants to go to the gathering then compromise and go to the gathering and give her the gift you already bought. You can't control their behavior or actions, only your own.

Or move out of the country.

My uncle is a control freak (and an ass) to the nth degree. I have nothing to do with him, at all. Years ago my mom invited him and his family (who I love) to visit... I moved out. Two years ago my mom wanted to invite him (he's now divorced and his kids want nothing to do with him) down (from Canada) over Thanksgiving and she asked me my thoughts on it. I told her if she did I wouldn't be there, but it is her home and her choice. And my mom knows what a control freak and ass that he is. I never understood the "you have to spend time with people just because their family" mindset.