Some horrible, terrible, foul jokes...

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Both of these arrive via Quint on Ain't It Cool news

A guy is in a bar. He's so drunk he throws up all over himself. He tells the bartender, "What am I doing? When I go home my wife's going to kill me..."

The bartender puts twenty dollars in his shirt pocket and says, "Go home and tell your wife you were in a bar and a guy came up... he was drunk, threw up all over you, but put $20 in your shirt pocket."

He goes home, walks in and his wife says, "Look at you. You threw up all over yourself!"

He goes, "Honey, a guy got drunk and threw up on me and he put $20 in my shirt pocket."

She reaches in and pulls out $40 and says, "What's the other $20 for?"

He says, "He shït in my pants, too!"

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There's a burning building. In the burning building there's a lesbian couple and a gay couple. Who gets out first?

Spoiler:

The lesbians because the gay guys are too busy packing their shït and the lesbians are outta there lickety-split!