It's not fair

[Gemini Cricket]

It's not easy when a younger sibling is going through a lot of hard times. It's hard not to absorb the sad stuff. But you have to try as hard as possible not to let it drain you. It is hugely sad and painful, but now is the time to be strong for your bro. Be strong for him and for yourself. Because the sad stuff will only eat away at you and your own mental state and leave you incapacitated to help him to the fullest of your potential.

My little sister does really stupid things some times and I worry for her a lot. But I realized that overworrying only makes the worry come out by accident when I'm speaking with her. That usually makes her feel worse. I just suck it up and stay supportive. My lil sister has lupus and it makes me sad all the time, but not when I'm talking to her. (I'm an actor after all...)

Nothing you can do can fix his ailment physically. But you bet your bottom dollar that there's lots you can do to help his mental and emotional state. Take some time to work through your grief and guilt and then give him a happy call or visit. Don't talk about the physical status of his hip for longer than a few moments and then spend the rest of the time bonding with him and being happy. Because maybe he wants to take his mind off of it.

I hope I'm not sounding insensitive. But I'm trying to put myself in your place and come up with a plan of action. And that's what I would do.

Hugs to you, dear Prudence. Hang in there. Chin up, M'Dear.

[Scrooge McSam]

{{{{Pru}}}} No, it's not fair.

[Gemini Cricket]

Just to add a taste of levity to this thread...

One of my grandfather's favorite expressions:
"It's not right and it's not fair. Like a Hawaiian's left leg."


(I discovered later that he got that joke from an Agatha Christie movie 'Evil Under the Sun'.)

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Oh, lady. I am so sorry to hear this. It's not fair at all. Frankly, it sucks. Please know that I am sending many things-- hugs, thought, prayers, energy, among others-- in your direction, and your brother's. I am so angry at the world sometimes. Why can't it play nice?

[Moonliner]

Could you please better define: "miraculous healing". I truly hope your family is not waisting time and financial resources while the tumor continues to grow inside him on things like faith healers and south of the border clinics. While modern medicine obviously can't cure everything, an aggressive tumor, as you described, is best treated by invasive surgery. It sucks, it's not fair, and yes it's far from a perfect solution but it is still your best option.

Best of luck to both of you, and please keep us updated.

[DreadPirateRoberts]

I'm sorry. I know how you feel. My younger sister had non-hodgkins lymphoma, and may times I wondered: why her? why do these things happen?

I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better.

[Matterhorn Fan]

Originally Posted by Prudence

So whatever it is that you do when you hear things like this, could you please do it?

If you were in town, I'd be baking cookies for you. But you're not, so the best I can do is be sad for you and your family and send my prayers and good thoughts.

[katiesue]

I'll be sending positive thoughts for you and your brother.

[Stan4dSteph]

Prayers for your brother, you and your family.

From what you describe of your brother in this thread, I have faith that he will be able to overcome any obstacles that this surgery might cause.

[AllyOops!]

Pru~

I'll be praying & praying and sending every positive thought your way! Prayer & hope is what always carries me through life's darkest moments. That, and of course, the love and support of friends & family, and you certainly have that here!!

I, too, have been consumed by the very same thoughts you are having! All I can tell you is "don't go there!". Once you are in the dark & guilty abyss, getting out is very tough. Please don't go into punishing yourself! Think of it this way- I've gone there for you already- it's dark and bad so now you never have to go! I'll keep you from it!

When I lost my best friend & my boyfriend, I used to always, always question why I got left behind. They were talented, smart, full of life, fun and everything that should encompass a human being. I've made more mistakes then I care to count. My best friend was my voice of reason. I finally had to tell myself that I will never know the reason until it's my turn to go. Knowing that there isn't an answer here on earth helped me. Even if there was an answer, it would never be one I'd ever undertand, you know?

When my Mom, Stepmom (who I refer to as my sister because we're so close in age) and both of my Grandfathers were diagnosed with cancer, I used to always imagine this invisible tube. They could run it from their body to mine, and the cancer would pour from them into me. Not that I ever wish to have cancer, mind you, but I wanted to be able to take their pain away, and if someone had to have it, it should be me!

When I told my Mom that, it crushed her. She told me, "I would NEVER have wanted you to have it".

Please know you have all the support & love in the world here. You have an abundance from me as well! Maybe we can talk later, okay?

Love & {{{HUGS}}}}

~A