Can we talk about porn?

[Moonliner]

Another issue I have with Internet porn is the sheer volume. I think there is something enticing about having just a bit of porn to look at. A few fond images to err, think about. Having 10's of thousands of images just seems wrong somehow at least for a beginner.

I expect I'll end up taking the direct route. Collect a few Playboys (I had no idea the direction penthouse had taken. bleh.) and just flat out give them to him.

[Alex]

"But what about the children?!" is probably the most damaging sentence to enter the popular consciousness since "wouldn't be funny if a nun could fly?"

That said, I think there is a difference between much of the porn that is readily available to kids these days and the porn that most of us would have come across more than 15 years ago.

Playboy taught me a lot about what the female body could look like but it never taught me anything about sex. Yes, there was the genre of of things like Juggs, Gallery, and such that provided the "almost" genre of porn where more than one person is in the photo, something sexual is kind of going on, but everything is just "almost" touching.

Down and dirty, graphic sex is certainly available in a way that it never was when we were kids. Do I think it causes irrepairable harm? Not really. But growing up I think sex was presented in a variety of contexts and symbolic meanings, and levels of importance. I do think that with its easy availability that things get out of balance. I don't think it necessarily leads to long term psychological problems but can easily suppose it eases kids along the path towards actually having sex (and while I don't think 14 year olds having sex should be criminalized I do think it is generally a net bad thing). If nothing else I think it plays a big part in shaping how that sex happens. The prominence of blowjobs in porn has probably played a big role in making that more acceptable. Hopefully it has also led to more reciprocation.

So, short version. No, I don't think it is a horrible thing. Bondage porn isn't, to me, any worse than any other. I'd be troubled by abusively violent or non-consensual porn but I'd expect any teenagers of mine were seeing it.

But I'd try to walk a fine line between conveying the sense that sex is bad and that they'll have to sneak it past me if they want to see it. This next generation of kids won't have that "sneaking into Dad's closet experience." This will probably only strengthen the opinion of each generation of kids that they were the ones who stumbled onto the realization that genitals are fun.

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

"But what about the children?!" is probably the most damaging sentence to enter the popular consciousness since "wouldn't be funny if a nun could fly?"

But I loved the flying nun!

But I'd try to walk a fine line between conveying the sense that sex is bad and that they'll have to sneak it past me if they want to see it. This next generation of kids won't have that "sneaking into Dad's closet experience." This will probably only strengthen the opinion of each generation of kids that they were the ones who stumbled onto the realization that genitals are fun.

Agreed. I don't want my kids to feel like their desires are "dirty" or anything, but I would take steps to shelter them from hardcore porn (or from any porn before a certain age). It sounds trite, but young minds really are very impressionable. A 13 or 14 year old doesn't have the life experience or the skills of discernment to look at porn and realize that extremely few women want penises in every orafice at the same time, etc.

We have art books with naked people in them, and we're all naked around the house pretty frequently, so I hope that they'll feel like the naked human body is not that big of a deal. When they get to an age where they are curious about sex but also at an age where they may not want to ask me certain questions I'd probably leave sex books that show nudity and pictures of genitals rather than leaving porn around. Or even books that show sex in a non-porn way, like the kama sutra and such if that is what they wanted to see. Then when they got to an age where they wanted to see naked pictures because it arouses them, I'd be more likely to leave Playboys under their (well, not Jade's, but I'm assuming there is a female equivalent) bed or something. Is Playboy even really porn?

I suppose it has a lot to do with what LSPE said about growing up too quickly. I know that in college they will see all sorts of porn, but college seems like that is the appropriate time for that sort of thing. I don't really see a need for it before then. Also, while I certainly won't take the stance about pre-marital sex that my parents did, I would like to convey the message that sex is for people who feel a commitment to each other. I'll definitely discourage random sex. It seems that hardcore porn somewhat goes against that message.