Inspiration?

[Gemini Cricket]

The "Great" Outdoors
A Play in 27 lines by Gemini Cricket

Brad and Ralphie stand by a metal pipe railing in the middle of the stage. The rest of the stage is bare. They gaze fondly into the audience.

Ralphie: Aren't the outdoors...

Brad: Great?

Ralphie: Yes.

Brad: No.

Ralphie: Isn't the view of the Monterey Bay beautiful up here?

Brad: Swell. You know what needs to happen to it?

Ralphie: No.

Brad: It needs to be filled with cement so I'd finally have a place to park our truck.

Ralphie: Don't you love the Grand Canyon?

Brad: It needs more Starbuckses.

Ralphie: Isn't Big Sur wonderful?

Brad: Firewood for miles and miles. Do you know what Death Valley needs?

Ralphie: Air conditioning?

Brad: Exactly.

Ralphie: Yosemite's nice.

Brad: Half Dome needs an ATM half way up it.

Ralphie: Why?

Brad: So I'd have money to spend at the mall I'm going to build on top of it.

Ralphie: You hate the outdoors.

Brad: Not totally. It does make me appreciate staying home a great deal.

Ralphie: I'm going on a hike.

Brad: Call me when you're lost.

Ralphie: You know... some park rangers can be handsome.

Brad: I'm coming with.

FIN