The One That Got Away?

[Scrooge McSam]

I'll call him "P". I doted on him. His absence for even a little while was just intolerable for me. He told me no one understood him like I did. He told me we'd always be friends. Then he told me we couldn't be together because society was more likely to accept him with a woman than with a man.

I decided I required a man who could stand up to the world and be his own man. I didn't fight for him, though I desperately wanted to. Why should I? He wasn't willing to fight for me. I asked him to leave. It nearly destroyed me for a while. But I still remember the evening, several months later driving home from work, when I realized I hadn't thought about him at all that whole day. It was a start

He was married in less than a year, and 2 kids later, divorced. Then he started trying to start something up again. I rejected him.

20 years later, I still miss him sometimes. But I don't regret how it all turned out. If I'd still been with him, the next chapter of my life may never even have happened.

[Ponine]

Wow… amazing stories. Amazing. I thought I was alone in my torment.
The quote that gets me every time that I see Ever After, and thats a LOT is.. “Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?”

I met Chris when I was a sophomore in high school. I dated his best friend for four years. (85-89) All through that time period, he was by and large nicer to me than his friend was. We all went together once and saw legend.. he proceeded to give me a note the next day with a picture of a unicorn, and tell me how innocent I was. (he was delusional, but it was still sweet)
When I would hang out with their group of friends, somehow something would always happen where he would have to jump to my defense. I know once, he rubbed my shoulders as I sat in my boyfriends house, and it was one o those moments where I thought.. okay, no, I have to get away from this situation or its gonna go down a path I cant go down since I already have a boyfriend.
Once we went to the beach as a group, La Jolla Shores.. anyway.. my boyfriend was throwing cans of soda down to those of us on the beach, and ended up hitting me in the neck with one. Didn’t care a whit.
Chris on the other hand, cared a lot. That night, with everyone in sleeping bags, and me in pain, I held on to Chris the whole night long. NOT my boyfriend..
We went out on a date in ‘89.. to this day I don’t know why that didn’t pan out.
We would run into each other at Halloween time, random Renn fair events, he would always be the gentleman, make my heart flutter, and bring me roses. I always had a boyfriend at the time, I never knew what to make of it. I always picked the guys who treated girls like dirt. Never knew what to do with him. He was too nice. And I was too popular.
In the early ‘90s.. maybe 92 or so.. we were at an event together, I was with Joe.. who I ended up breaking up with at the event. Since I rode up with Joe, I had no ride home I was willing to take. I rode home with Chris… I remember that ride being emotionally taxing. It was better to be with him even in silence. We got back to his home at around 11pm, not a time I wanted to be taken home to my parents, and decided that I would stay at his apt till morning.
I don’t remember how, or why, but prob sleeping in the same place with a guy that you’re not actually involved with, but has loved you intensely for years.. isn’t such a good idea. By morning, we were an item. And I was so in love with him.
I never thought I was good enough for him, he made me happy, but I didn’t deserve it. Anyone else been there? He sang to me, bought me flowers, remembered my birthday, called me Kitten. I thought he was wonderful.
My new friends depised him. He had gotten to me too fast. Other people were jealous. They did everything to tear us apart. After a few months, it worked. He walked away, leaving me in a pile of tears and broken hearted. Telling me that he was seeing someone else. (years later I will discover this was a fabricated lie)
I took the next proposal that came my way because I saw it as the last chance. Chris was at my wedding, I wouldn’t speak to him.
Three years later, he finds me in Colorado, where I have whisked myself away to in order to rebuild my life. He’s vacationing, alone. I am still insanely attracted to him. Once again I let him break my heart when he went back to CA.
He marries, I end up being the one they called when po’d, they tick me off… we don’t speak for a few more years. In the process we both have sons, two months apart. They divorce.
Feb 2004 I saw him at someone else’s wedding. I all but fainted. I wanted to talk to him, and bolt, all at the same time. In the fall, I finally had the courage to speak to him again. It’s all still there..every last emotion; and that scares the hell out of me.
No question he’s the one that got away, and I should LET him get away. Never mind the fact that its lovely to have someone around me who has known me for twenty years, and that I am so in love with him it hurts.
He is wonderful, always has been. Soemtimes when I talk to him, I am totally enthralled by his face, and how beautiful he is. Oddly, I'm not generally physically attracted to people. I could be happy just listening to him talk, even if it wasnt to me, just to hear the sound of his voice.
My confidence soars when I am near him, and it seems there is nothing I cannot do.
Alas, I have no idea if I have anywhere near the same effect on him.
Oh.. I need to stop.. I’m rambling.

[Claire]

My gosh. I have goosebumps! Thanks for the stories.....Ponine, I left you a looong note.

:sigh:

I love these stories.

[€uroMeinke]

I thought I had “one that got away” – but when the moment came, I let her go.

Her name was Cyndi, though it should have been trouble. I met her in high school, though I don’t think she ever attended class. You might think I exaggerate this point, but honestly, I don’t think she was ever enrolled there.

Cyndi was every teenage boy’s dream, sexy, attractive, playful, and she new it, making her the ultimate tease. I longed for her even as I dated and fell in love with my high school sweetheart. We spent long evenings together, sipping wine, listening to music, chatting till 2:00 in the morning, when I had to bring her home and sober up for school the next morning.

She told remarkable stories, pathological liar that she was. The lives she lived, the experiences she detailed were far too complex and time consuming to fit into her 15 years. But I was painfully shy in high school, so I never tried to do anything more than spend time with her, listen to her stories, and plan how we would dress and look for the next event. Except for one moment, on my 18th birthday when I caught her in my arms and we kissed one of those remarkable first kisses that stop time and intoxicate you more than any drug. But it never went any further. It was a moment that vanished, perhaps both of us too embarrassed to admit it ever happen, or me too insecure to explore how mutual our feelings might be.

So off I went to college, where I talked about her constantly so that my roommates came to long for her as well despite being 2000 miles away. I couldn’t wait to get back home and find out the latest of where she was, what she was doing, and whether or not she was available. Of course during this time she was dating other friends of mine, so I held back and waited, biding my time.

But as my college days came to an end, I had met someone else who pulled at my heart. A friend of a friend through some bands we both knew. She was someone I could talk to for hours, she complemented me in every way, and I was falling for her. You know her here as Not Afraid. Of course it was then that Cyndi became available as I discovered in a trip to of all places Disneyland, where I took her home last. We sat in front of her house forever, and while again we did nothing more than talk, the confessionals made it clear she was interested in me.

I couldn’t sleep that night, my stomach in knots. I called Lisa the next day, and confessed my age-old-longings for Cyndi and my desire to pursue her. She remained quiet and stoic through that gut-wrenching phone call, and told me to go do what I had to do.

But I never called Cyndi, I never set out to see her again. The instant I hung up the phone I had a moment of both clarity and terror – I had made the wrong decision. Cyndi was an imaginary construct of all my unfulfilled desires. Lisa was real, was someone I loved, and just dumped in the most ungracious of ways.

I went to her house and waited for her to come home, to confess my regret and stupidity. Thankfully, she invited me into her Celica where she forgave me of my foolishness. I let one get away, but I almost lost one more precious.

[mistyisjafo]

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke

I thought I had “one that got away” – but when the moment came, I let her go.

Her name was Cyndi, though it should have been trouble. I met her in high school, though I don’t think she ever attended class. You might think I exaggerate this point, but honestly, I don’t think she was ever enrolled there.

Cyndi was every teenage boy’s dream, sexy, attractive, playful, and she new it, making her the ultimate tease. I longed for her even as I dated and fell in love with my high school sweetheart. We spent long evenings together, sipping wine, listening to music, chatting till 2:00 in the morning, when I had to bring her home and sober up for school the next morning.

She told remarkable stories, pathological liar that she was. The lives she lived, the experiences she detailed were far too complex and time consuming to fit into her 15 years. But I was painfully shy in high school, so I never tried to do anything more than spend time with her, listen to her stories, and plan how we would dress and look for the next event. Except for one moment, on my 18th birthday when I caught her in my arms and we kissed one of those remarkable first kisses that stop time and intoxicate you more than any drug. But it never went any further. It was a moment that vanished, perhaps both of us too embarrassed to admit it ever happen, or me too insecure to explore how mutual our feelings might be.

So off I went to college, where I talked about her constantly so that my roommates came to long for her as well despite being 2000 miles away. I couldn’t wait to get back home and find out the latest of where she was, what she was doing, and whether or not she was available. Of course during this time she was dating other friends of mine, so I held back and waited, biding my time.

But as my college days came to an end, I had met someone else who pulled at my heart. A friend of a friend through some bands we both knew. She was someone I could talk to for hours, she complemented me in every way, and I was falling for her. You know her here as Not Afraid. Of course it was then that Cyndi became available as I discovered in a trip to of all places Disneyland, where I took her home last. We sat in front of her house forever, and while again we did nothing more than talk, the confessionals made it clear she was interested in me.

I couldn’t sleep that night, my stomach in knots. I called Lisa the next day, and confessed my age-old-longings for Cyndi and my desire to pursue her. She remained quiet and stoic through that gut-wrenching phone call, and told me to go do what I had to do.

But I never called Cyndi, I never set out to see her again. The instant I hung up the phone I had a moment of both clarity and terror – I had made the wrong decision. Cyndi was an imaginary construct of all my unfulfilled desires. Lisa was real, was someone I loved, and just dumped in the most ungracious of ways.

I went to her house and waited for her to come home, to confess my regret and stupidity. Thankfully, she invited me into her Celica where she forgave me of my foolishness. I let one get away, but I almost lost one more precious.

That is so sweet!