To the Homeless Man This Concerns - Page 2

Boss Radio · 09-05-2007, 01:37 AM

1. Beautifully written.
2. I do not envy you.
3. Plant a large cactus outside your window, and post a sign that reads BEWARE of the ALLIGATOR.
4. Set inventive traps for him not unlike those like found in the queue for Indiana Jones, complete with spears and human skulls.
5. Keep a gallon jug of urine handy to empty out the window on him for next time.
6. Supersoaker. See above.
7. Cover the area with salt. It works on snails.
8. Airhorn, as suggested by Mimi.
9. Using a retractable mechanical claw, steal his discman and replace it with a remote controlled head-shaped vice.
10. Leave a table of arsenic-laced bottles of cheap liquor with a sign that says: HOMELESS SPECIAL! ALL YOU CAN DRINK!

SacTown Chronic · 09-05-2007, 02:05 PM

One time I was talking to a homeless man outside of a Greyhound bus station when he suddenly put a hand down the front of his pants, removed it, and in a move I'm sure he thought was discreet, slowly brought his hand to his face and sniffed his fingers. I remember thinking, "Dude, you don't need to do all that...I can smell your balls from here".

Capt Jack · 09-05-2007, 03:02 PM

been there. tried to be nice and went out and talked to them

"guys, you know you cant stay here. you'll force me to call the cops if I see you here again. sleep tight, dont leave a mess, but be gone tomorrow"

they were. theyre not normally unreasonable, just down on their luck

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 09-05-2007, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt Jack

been there. tried to be nice and went out and talked to them

"guys, you know you cant stay here. you'll force me to call the cops if I see you here again. sleep tight, dont leave a mess, but be gone tomorrow"

they were. theyre not normally unreasonable, just down on their luck

Which is why I let him sleep and decided to take action if he returned. Though, as a single lass living alone, I wasn't about to have a chat with him. It's not because I think of him as subhuman (far from it!)but I do sometimes get wound up about my own personal safety, and I'm not a paranoid person. I notice that Los Angeles homeless people, more so than any other major city I've lived in, can be pretty unreasonable and aggressive. As a young boy my brother was slapped hard across the neck by a homeless woman who thought she was being attached. There seem to be a lot of mentally ill homeless here and my assumption is that there are fewer mental health services for those who can't pay for it here.

scaeagles · 09-05-2007, 03:27 PM

Something tells me you wouldn't go up to any male stranger hanging outside your window....it's a safety thing, not a homeless person thing or a less than human thing.

Capt Jack · 09-05-2007, 03:53 PM

point taken. just call the cops

Kevy Baby · 09-05-2007, 05:07 PM

Or shoot him.

09-05-2007, 01:37 AM	#11
Boss Radio The Littlest Hobo Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Hobo Junction Posts: 393	1. Beautifully written. 2. I do not envy you. 3. Plant a large cactus outside your window, and post a sign that reads BEWARE of the ALLIGATOR. 4. Set inventive traps for him not unlike those like found in the queue for Indiana Jones, complete with spears and human skulls. 5. Keep a gallon jug of urine handy to empty out the window on him for next time. 6. Supersoaker. See above. 7. Cover the area with salt. It works on snails. 8. Airhorn, as suggested by Mimi. 9. Using a retractable mechanical claw, steal his discman and replace it with a remote controlled head-shaped vice. 10. Leave a table of arsenic-laced bottles of cheap liquor with a sign that says: HOMELESS SPECIAL! ALL YOU CAN DRINK!
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09-05-2007, 02:05 PM	#12
SacTown Chronic the myth of the dream Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,217	One time I was talking to a homeless man outside of a Greyhound bus station when he suddenly put a hand down the front of his pants, removed it, and in a move I'm sure he thought was discreet, slowly brought his hand to his face and sniffed his fingers. I remember thinking, "Dude, you don't need to do all that...I can smell your balls from here".
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09-05-2007, 03:02 PM	#13
Capt Jack check your head Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,174	been there. tried to be nice and went out and talked to them "guys, you know you cant stay here. you'll force me to call the cops if I see you here again. sleep tight, dont leave a mess, but be gone tomorrow" they were. theyre not normally unreasonable, just down on their luck __________________ a clear conscience is a sure sign of a fuzzy memory
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09-05-2007, 03:27 PM	#15
scaeagles I LIKE! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,819	Something tells me you wouldn't go up to any male stranger hanging outside your window....it's a safety thing, not a homeless person thing or a less than human thing.
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09-05-2007, 03:53 PM	#16
Capt Jack check your head Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,174	point taken. just call the cops __________________ a clear conscience is a sure sign of a fuzzy memory
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09-05-2007, 05:07 PM	#17
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	Or shoot him. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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