As my world turns...DRAMA - Page 2

Prudence · 10-30-2007, 02:19 PM

I don't have any spiffy parenting advice. But, I can say that I've been there as a student and it sucks. It's like prison. And there are a bunch of rules that are meant to keep other people in line, but the spillover effect is to limit what other kids (who COULD handle more) can do.

However, getting his GED might seem like the easy solution now, but as you likely know it is really the much harder road. He's so close to graduation - even if it feels like it's so far away - that staying the course is the "easy" route, all things considered.

Morigoon probably has the best solution. What's great about taking college credit early is that a lot of times you can then skip the entry level/freshman classes once you are in college first time. That way when he starts "real" college he'll be going in at a higher level and skip all the basically high-school level stuff.

katiesue · 10-30-2007, 02:27 PM

I realize it's an eternity in "kid years" but 5ish more months really isn't all that long to get through. And as Kevy said a GED on a resume compared to a High School Diploma isn't the same. And yes people will judge by that if they're reading your resume, right or wrong.

You can work and earn money and still stay in school. Does his school have a work/credit program? Mine had one where you could work and get some credits at the same time.

I also agree with the community college classes for credit. And as Morri said it doesn't have to be an academic class just something he's interested in. This will also give him a bit of a feel of what college is actually like.

Also wouldn't it be harder to get into a college with just a GED as compared to a degree? Unless you go the comminity college route (which I did). I also never finished. I stopped to work full time and just never had the time or honestly the committment to go back and finish it off. It hasn't stopped my career but it has definately limited my possibilities.

I also know of course that when you're 17 (almost 18) none of the big picture stuff really comes into any kind of focus. A year is an eternity.

BarTopDancer · 10-30-2007, 03:19 PM

I would do everything possible to encourage him to stay in school and get his diploma. A GED isn't what it used to be. An eternity in "kid years" is right, but 4-5 months (depending on the date of his 18th birthday) is not that long to suck it up and not "throw it all away" (12 years of school only to give up with 4 months left).

College isn't for everyone. I struggled, am still struggling with going. I went right out of high school, hated it, dropped out. Rinse, repeat - multiple times. 12 years later I am still working on a BA degree.

Encourage him to look at positions he may like to have on Monster, CareerBuilder or in the local paper. Many positions are requiring Bachelor degrees to even get your resume looked at. Maybe if he sees this, it will sink in a little that dropping out isn't really a good thing.

Morri has the best suggestion. In CA, many schools allow students to take community college classes for high school credit (and it will double as college credit). Also check into an ROP program - they provide similar programs with vocational training as well.

MouseWife · 10-30-2007, 07:39 PM

Those before me have given some wonderful advice.

The college classes during high school are a great way to introduce them to college and how it works while still having high school to be a part of.

It is hard to finish those last months, especially after he's had a different life style. It probably feels to him like he is spinning his wheels.

Is he in line with the credits he needs to graduate in June/July?

My daughter did not go with the flow. It wasn't necessarily because she wanted to work it was just that it wasn't working for her. She did the 'Learning Center' {I think this might also help to catch up on missed credits for time when they've missed credits?} and then did indendant studies. She didn't get a GED but some other type of certificate. It is what worked for her, kept her going. She did go to work after and took a few classes at the community college. Now she is attending a school to get her nutritionist license.

I know you are worried about pushing him too hard in the direction you are choosing, in case it doesn't work and instead breaks him. Try the things people have suggested, keeping your mind/eyes open to him. He may take to it, hearing it from his counselor and others just might work. If you feel that it just isn't working, well, step back and see what needs changing.

It will work out. Just remember we felt this way before they walked, got out of diapers, off the bottle, wrote, read, and how many other things.

One thing I would suggest, {over anything else I may have said} don't listen to other people who might judge your son or you. Whatever you end up doing, that is right for you. Whatever choice you make is up to you.

I wish you luck, sincerely.

wendybeth · 10-30-2007, 10:35 PM

What does he think he wants to do with his life? There are lots of careers that obviously require a HS diploma or GED and college, and then there are lots that don't. Does he like mechanics, welding, carpentry or any of the skilled trades? If so, maybe you should look into getting him into a mentoring or apprenticeship program. I would hate to see him quit school so close to the end, but if he is that miserable (and not just burnt out) maybe his calling is elsewhere. Work out a deal with him- if he can come up with a viable training alternative that he genuinely feels he can stick with, maybe it might be the thing to do. Like you said, he's a smart kid and I think he'll find his way if he has the support and direction. However, if he just wants to be a slacker, then no deal. I've been reading that the higher paying jobs these days are in the skilled trades, so if he is so inclined maybe that's where he should direct his energies.

Gemini Cricket · 10-30-2007, 10:39 PM

Make him stay and get his diploma. He's almost done.
It's hard to go back.

Disneyphile · 10-30-2007, 11:48 PM

Does he still want to be a chef?

If so, have him check out the culinary program with Delancey Street Foundation. Since he's on probation and such, he should qualify for their program, and it will also help keep him from returning to trouble, and offer him free vocational training and job placement, while housing him in a safe and dry environment. They have quite a few campuses across the country now, so he'd have a bit of choice where he goes to study.

Nephythys · 10-31-2007, 05:48 AM

He still wants to go to art college (yes- culinary)- hmm, just thought of something...need him to check out the schools he wants to go to.....see what they say about getting in.

See if that changes anything-

He is only on parole til February-so a program is not the right place to look right now.

Strangler Lewis · 10-31-2007, 08:48 AM

If he's just bored and frustrated, he should finish. Once he gets a job, it will be hard to go back. If you haven't already, you should explore whether his problems are social. We had a former babysitter who pushed to graduate as a junior, not because she was academically precocious but because something about the high school scene was too cruel and painful for her. Maybe he's concerned about going back to associate with people he knows he shouldn't associate with.

Good luck with it.

Not Afraid · 10-31-2007, 10:22 AM

He's a Senior, which means he has a mere 6 months of school left. Six months is a mere blip on the journey of life and it you can't do 6 months of something you don't like (for your own good, no less) then you really aren't going to be prepared for 6 months of life out of high school. Sometimes you have to just bit the bullet and do the right thing for a bit of time - no matter how unplesant - rather than run away from it. He'll be a better person for doing it.

10-30-2007, 02:19 PM	#11
Prudence Beelzeboobs, Esq. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Gavel - I haz it Posts: 6,287	I don't have any spiffy parenting advice. But, I can say that I've been there as a student and it sucks. It's like prison. And there are a bunch of rules that are meant to keep other people in line, but the spillover effect is to limit what other kids (who COULD handle more) can do. However, getting his GED might seem like the easy solution now, but as you likely know it is really the much harder road. He's so close to graduation - even if it feels like it's so far away - that staying the course is the "easy" route, all things considered. Morigoon probably has the best solution. What's great about taking college credit early is that a lot of times you can then skip the entry level/freshman classes once you are in college first time. That way when he starts "real" college he'll be going in at a higher level and skip all the basically high-school level stuff. __________________ traguna macoities tracorum satis de
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10-30-2007, 02:27 PM	#12
katiesue Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,678	I realize it's an eternity in "kid years" but 5ish more months really isn't all that long to get through. And as Kevy said a GED on a resume compared to a High School Diploma isn't the same. And yes people will judge by that if they're reading your resume, right or wrong. You can work and earn money and still stay in school. Does his school have a work/credit program? Mine had one where you could work and get some credits at the same time. I also agree with the community college classes for credit. And as Morri said it doesn't have to be an academic class just something he's interested in. This will also give him a bit of a feel of what college is actually like. Also wouldn't it be harder to get into a college with just a GED as compared to a degree? Unless you go the comminity college route (which I did). I also never finished. I stopped to work full time and just never had the time or honestly the committment to go back and finish it off. It hasn't stopped my career but it has definately limited my possibilities. I also know of course that when you're 17 (almost 18) none of the big picture stuff really comes into any kind of focus. A year is an eternity. __________________ My life is so exciting I can hardly stand it.
	Submit to Quotes

10-30-2007, 03:19 PM	#13
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	I would do everything possible to encourage him to stay in school and get his diploma. A GED isn't what it used to be. An eternity in "kid years" is right, but 4-5 months (depending on the date of his 18th birthday) is not that long to suck it up and not "throw it all away" (12 years of school only to give up with 4 months left). College isn't for everyone. I struggled, am still struggling with going. I went right out of high school, hated it, dropped out. Rinse, repeat - multiple times. 12 years later I am still working on a BA degree. Encourage him to look at positions he may like to have on Monster, CareerBuilder or in the local paper. Many positions are requiring Bachelor degrees to even get your resume looked at. Maybe if he sees this, it will sink in a little that dropping out isn't really a good thing. Morri has the best suggestion. In CA, many schools allow students to take community college classes for high school credit (and it will double as college credit). Also check into an ROP program - they provide similar programs with vocational training as well. __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge
	Submit to Quotes

10-30-2007, 07:39 PM	#14
MouseWife Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Da' Beach Posts: 2,957	Those before me have given some wonderful advice. The college classes during high school are a great way to introduce them to college and how it works while still having high school to be a part of. It is hard to finish those last months, especially after he's had a different life style. It probably feels to him like he is spinning his wheels. Is he in line with the credits he needs to graduate in June/July? My daughter did not go with the flow. It wasn't necessarily because she wanted to work it was just that it wasn't working for her. She did the 'Learning Center' {I think this might also help to catch up on missed credits for time when they've missed credits?} and then did indendant studies. She didn't get a GED but some other type of certificate. It is what worked for her, kept her going. She did go to work after and took a few classes at the community college. Now she is attending a school to get her nutritionist license. I know you are worried about pushing him too hard in the direction you are choosing, in case it doesn't work and instead breaks him. Try the things people have suggested, keeping your mind/eyes open to him. He may take to it, hearing it from his counselor and others just might work. If you feel that it just isn't working, well, step back and see what needs changing. It will work out. Just remember we felt this way before they walked, got out of diapers, off the bottle, wrote, read, and how many other things. One thing I would suggest, {over anything else I may have said} don't listen to other people who might judge your son or you. Whatever you end up doing, that is right for you. Whatever choice you make is up to you. I wish you luck, sincerely. __________________ Summa' time....when the livins' easy.........
	Submit to Quotes

10-30-2007, 10:35 PM	#15
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	What does he think he wants to do with his life? There are lots of careers that obviously require a HS diploma or GED and college, and then there are lots that don't. Does he like mechanics, welding, carpentry or any of the skilled trades? If so, maybe you should look into getting him into a mentoring or apprenticeship program. I would hate to see him quit school so close to the end, but if he is that miserable (and not just burnt out) maybe his calling is elsewhere. Work out a deal with him- if he can come up with a viable training alternative that he genuinely feels he can stick with, maybe it might be the thing to do. Like you said, he's a smart kid and I think he'll find his way if he has the support and direction. However, if he just wants to be a slacker, then no deal. I've been reading that the higher paying jobs these days are in the skilled trades, so if he is so inclined maybe that's where he should direct his energies. __________________
	Submit to Quotes

10-30-2007, 10:39 PM	#16
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Make him stay and get his diploma. He's almost done. It's hard to go back.
	Submit to Quotes

10-30-2007, 11:48 PM	#17
Disneyphile SQUIRREL! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: On the curbside. Posts: 5,098	Does he still want to be a chef? If so, have him check out the culinary program with Delancey Street Foundation. Since he's on probation and such, he should qualify for their program, and it will also help keep him from returning to trouble, and offer him free vocational training and job placement, while housing him in a safe and dry environment. They have quite a few campuses across the country now, so he'd have a bit of choice where he goes to study.
	Submit to Quotes

10-31-2007, 05:48 AM	#18
Nephythys Yeah, that's about it- Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In a state of constant crap to get done Posts: 2,688	He still wants to go to art college (yes- culinary)- hmm, just thought of something...need him to check out the schools he wants to go to.....see what they say about getting in. See if that changes anything- He is only on parole til February-so a program is not the right place to look right now.
	Submit to Quotes

10-31-2007, 08:48 AM	#19
Strangler Lewis Doing The Job Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In a state Posts: 3,956	If he's just bored and frustrated, he should finish. Once he gets a job, it will be hard to go back. If you haven't already, you should explore whether his problems are social. We had a former babysitter who pushed to graduate as a junior, not because she was academically precocious but because something about the high school scene was too cruel and painful for her. Maybe he's concerned about going back to associate with people he knows he shouldn't associate with. Good luck with it. __________________ Live now-pay later. Diner's Club!
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10-31-2007, 10:22 AM	#20
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	He's a Senior, which means he has a mere 6 months of school left. Six months is a mere blip on the journey of life and it you can't do 6 months of something you don't like (for your own good, no less) then you really aren't going to be prepared for 6 months of life out of high school. Sometimes you have to just bit the bullet and do the right thing for a bit of time - no matter how unplesant - rather than run away from it. He'll be a better person for doing it.
	Submit to Quotes