Dove Contest - Take 1 (Need Feedback ASAP!!)

[BarTopDancer]

I really like the 2nd cut! It's fantastic!

I didn't notice the verbiage change until you pointed it out, but I do like "drop" after the soap drop. The cut to the oil/lotion mixture was a bit sudden and if there is a way you can move the focus off of Jen smiling at the product I'd suggest that as well.

As a woman (and that is who I presume the target market is ) I like the last scene. The mirror is a bit foggy but you can still see motion. However, it's not suggesting that we hop in the shower and have sex with Jen. It's suggesting that we use this product and relax. Then again, looking at chix in the mirror while they shower isn't one of my fantasies.

I also prefer this cut of music. It's very relaxing.

It's fantastic. I'll take a look at the others when I get home.

[Pirate Bill]

I'll be in my bunk.

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

What about my request for more nudity?

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

You volunteering?

Originally Posted by NirvanaMan

Don't encourage him. Please.

But I did offer on Tuesday.

Now off to watch (but not listen to) Take 2

[NirvanaMan]

Drop. More succinct and poignant. Shorter is always better in advertising. Have you thought about doing a VO?

[Disneyphile]

Originally Posted by NirvanaMan

Have you thought about doing a VO?

Yep. I might try it on one of the next takes.

The only thing I don't like about spoken word though - it can sometimes distract from the imagery, rather than add to it. My idea is to captivate people in the scene, so they can visualize themselves. But, I'm still open to trying a VO. It's at the bottom of my list though.

[NirvanaMan]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

Yep. I might try it on one of the next takes.

The only thing I don't like about spoken word though - it can sometimes distract from the imagery, rather than add to it. My idea is to captivate people in the scene, so they can visualize themselves. But, I'm still open to trying a VO. It's at the bottom of my list though.

True though, depending on how they are judging these, one thing to consider is the fact that most people ignore commercials. Many look away. The VO is a way to get the message across even if the viewer isn't looking at the ad. That said, something disruptive can be just as powerful. Sometimes a complete absence of sound can get the consumers attention just as if not more powerfully than any VO or tune.

[wolfy999]

The only comment I have is....I didn't even realize that it was soap & oil combined. It shows two liquids, but not what they are. Some verbage there would help sell the product IMOA.

Otherwise I really like Take 2 better than Take 1.

[Morrigoon]

Actually it's cream and oil

[wolfy999]

Originally Posted by Morrigoon

Actually it's cream and oil

So it's doesn't actually replace soap then? The takes give me the impression it does. Another thing to think about.

[Disneyphile]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

I will start by saying T that this, overall, looks fantastic.

Aw, shucks.

OK, some of the edits still seam abrupt to me. In particular: both sides of the soap drop, into the soap squeeze, and into the split screen. When trying to convey "soft", you need soft transitions as well.

I'm trying to keep the beginning a bit more rough and abrupt, like the soap, and then soften things up once the Dove comes in. Hence why the beginning is also sans music. Would that make sense or no? I'm not sure how to convey it differently. Hmmm.

Originally Posted by NirvanaMan

True though, depending on how they are judging these, one thing to consider is the fact that most people ignore commercials. Many look away. The VO is a way to get the message across even if the viewer isn't looking at the ad. That said, something disruptive can be just as powerful. Sometimes a complete absence of sound can get the consumers attention just as if not more powerfully than any VO or tune.

Oooooh. Damn good points. Ok, I'll try out a VO version in a bit too.

Originally Posted by wolfy999

So it's doesn't actually replace soap then? The takes give me the impression it does. Another thing to think about.

It is body wash, so it does replace soap. It's quite fine wash too. I just used it for the first time today, and I feel like I bathed in lotion. I am silky!!