Dove Contest - Take 1 (Need Feedback ASAP!!) - Page 7

Cadaverous Pallor · 01-03-2008, 06:26 PM

ETA - looks like I'm in the minority on the fog thing but here's my opinion -

OMG - Take 3 ROCKS! Sooo much better. The only quibble I have now is since you cropped the beginning of the squeezing (awesome) you now have too long an ending on the shot. You can see the cream suck back into the bottle when I stopped squeezing, which I think looks bad.

Other than that, I'd add at least one line of voice over somewhere (I'd trust marketing people with decisions like that, but I think it does need some vocal in it), but that's it. The end shot is perfect, IMO. I dig what you're doing with the beginning being abrupt like the bar of soap.

Seriously, this is awesome.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pirate Bill

I'll be in my bunk.

You're not bringing your laptop with, are you??

NirvanaMan · 01-03-2008, 06:28 PM

Camera shakes a bit in the last shot. Other than that I think it is looking good.

Disneyphile · 01-03-2008, 06:32 PM

Ok, how about the line, "Enjoy a little luxury, everyday" as a solitary spoken line at the end?

Would it be best to speak them over the words, or remove that shot and just say it over the shower/tray scene (and lengthen that a couple seconds to compensate)?

Oh, and who has a good voice around here, a microphone, and a way to record a file and email it to me?

(I know you people who have Skype can possibly manage!)

Kevy Baby · 01-03-2008, 06:32 PM

FWIW, I asked a friend of mine with a LOT of design experience and he agrees that take two is the better mirror shot

NirvanaMan · 01-03-2008, 06:37 PM

What might be an interesting experiment is to leave just the sound effects (which work great) and take out the music all together, with a seductively toned VO at the end over the hero shot.

NirvanaMan · 01-03-2008, 06:37 PM

The VO would have to be a woman FWIW.

NirvanaMan · 01-03-2008, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

FWIW, I asked a friend of mine with a LOT of design experience and he agrees that take two is the better mirror shot

I think I have to agree now, but that could be cause I am getting too close to it. A little less fogging would be ideal, but given the choices of shots up there I think 2 is the way to go for that shot. Plus there wasn't noticeable camera shake.

mousepod · 01-03-2008, 06:50 PM

I dig take 3 the most as well, though CP does have a point about the lotion sucking back - I'd trim just those few frames.

Disneyphile · 01-03-2008, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NirvanaMan

What might be an interesting experiment is to leave just the sound effects (which work great) and take out the music all together, with a seductively toned VO at the end over the hero shot.

Ok, I'll do two VO versions - one with music and one without. (And, I'll switch it back to the 2nd shower/mirror scene too).

Um, gals... I need help with this one - can any of you please record for me?

The line: "Enjoy a little luxury, everyday."

Say it however you want, and you can just keep recording even if you screw up or want to change styles/tones - just give me about 3 seconds between each one for cuts. I sound way too nasal with my sinus issues, so I'm really loathe to do it myself. .wav or .mp3 format is fine.

My email is disneyphile@gmail.com.

Don't make me beg.

Chernabog · 01-03-2008, 07:05 PM

Awwwww come on. Wouldn't it be great to have Harvey Firestein say that line?

01-03-2008, 06:28 PM	#62
NirvanaMan Making Change Happen Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 990	Camera shakes a bit in the last shot. Other than that I think it is looking good.
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01-03-2008, 06:32 PM	#63
Disneyphile SQUIRREL! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: On the curbside. Posts: 5,098	Ok, how about the line, "Enjoy a little luxury, everyday" as a solitary spoken line at the end? Would it be best to speak them over the words, or remove that shot and just say it over the shower/tray scene (and lengthen that a couple seconds to compensate)? Oh, and who has a good voice around here, a microphone, and a way to record a file and email it to me? (I know you people who have Skype can possibly manage!)
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01-03-2008, 06:32 PM	#64
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	FWIW, I asked a friend of mine with a LOT of design experience and he agrees that take two is the better mirror shot __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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01-03-2008, 06:37 PM	#65
NirvanaMan Making Change Happen Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 990	What might be an interesting experiment is to leave just the sound effects (which work great) and take out the music all together, with a seductively toned VO at the end over the hero shot.
	Submit to Quotes

01-03-2008, 06:37 PM	#66
NirvanaMan Making Change Happen Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 990	The VO would have to be a woman FWIW.
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01-03-2008, 06:50 PM	#68
mousepod You broke your Ramadar! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,635	I dig take 3 the most as well, though CP does have a point about the lotion sucking back - I'd trim just those few frames. __________________ "Give the public everything you can give them, keep the place as clean as you can keep it, keep it friendly" - Walt Disney
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01-03-2008, 07:05 PM	#70
Chernabog Biophage Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Moon Posts: 2,679	Awwwww come on. Wouldn't it be great to have Harvey Firestein say that line? __________________ And they say back then our universe Was a coal black egg Until the god inside Burst out and from its shattered shell He made what became the world we know ~ Bjork (Cosmogony)
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