Ok, one of my past efforts- *long*

[Nephythys]

I had a dream the other night,
That I had passed away,
And all my friends had come to see,
Me buried on that day,

They stood in rows around the box,
And tears streamed from their eyes,
They grieved and wept,
And gazed into the dark and cloudy skies,

I dreamed I walked among that group,
A breeze just passing by,
I reached to them with outstretched hands,
Like a whisper or a sigh,

I saw you then, standing there,
Your head was bowed so low,
As if you willed with all your heart,
To go where I must go,

The pain was veiled behind your eyes,
So none would dare to see,
The heart of all your deepest love,
Was being buried with me,

In anguish I screamed aloud,
A soundless echo to the sky,
I can't believe that life would deal this blow,
To such as you and I,

My voice quickly died away,
I gazed into your eyes,
I wished with all my heart of hearts,
To take away your cries,

You stood there right next to my grave,
And stared into that hole,
That soon would swallow me,
And the remainder of your soul,

The flowers that adorned my shrine,
Shimmered with color and light,
To me they seemed a travesty,
Too vivid and too bright,

The night should be my place of rest,
Stars hung up in the sky,
With a single alabaster rose,
And your shining, loving eyes,

A coffin is my resting place,
And not your loving arms,
And death has called to me,
I was not wary of it's charms,

Cold satin holds me in it's grasp,
The latches are locked down tight,
To come with me my love,
Is to fade to darkest night,

I never more will see the sun,
Or dance the night away,
I never again will touch your cheek,
Or feel your body sway,

My love for you transends the grave,
It rises to the sky,
Nothing my love, not even death,
Comes between you and I,

I felt my spirit lift away,
The time was drawing near,
When I would have to face the tomb,
And live my wildest fear,

It's not the face of eternity,
That scares me to the heart,
It is the harsh reality,
Of being torn apart,

To leave your side and your love,
Is the terror that I face,
I stared into the open grave,
And shivered in my place,

The coffin started lowering,
I saw you shake with pain,
To watch the one you loved so much,
Into the ground be lain,

I knew the time had come my love,
To face that dark unknown,
I kissed your lips so tenderly,
Like a gentle breeze was blown,

You looked upon my resting place,
And heaved a heavy sigh,
And with your breath the heavens opened,
And rain poured from the sky,

You turned your face up to the clouds,
The tears mingled with the rain,
And everyone by your side,
Saw your open pain,

You fell down on your knees,
Your sobbing could be heard,
There was nothing but silence now,
Not even the singing of a bird,

Your head sunk into your hands,
Your shoulders bowed and shook,
It seems you can not face the fact,
That from your life I have been took,

The funeral was over,
The time was finally here,
To say good-bye and walk away,
To leave me to my fear,

I stood among the flowers,
And watched my friends walk away,
You struggled up to your feet,
I watched your body sway,

You stumbled away from my grave,
I wished that I could follow,
Eternity was calling me,
My heart felt empty and hollow,

As you faded from my sight,
The rain kept pouring down,
I curled up against the stone,
My lips turned to a frown,

The men, they came,
And filled that gaping hole with dirt,
My heart echoed softly,
With vivid visions of your hurt,

But life for you will grow and heal,
Someday the sun will shine,
And someone else someday,
Will share the love that once was yours and mine,

My dream was coming to an end,
The night was drawing near,
I slid myself into my box,
And held your image dear,

I settled deep into the dark,
And set my spirit free,
My thoughts are stilled and silent,
My eyes no longer see,

Night has fallen, it is done,
My tears have all been cried,
This is all that I had seen,
The night I dreamed I died.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Wow. Amazing stuff. Trying not to let it bring me down too much.

[Nephythys]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Wow. Amazing stuff. Trying not to let it bring me down too much.

Thanks CP- I wrote it when I was down, so I understand...

[Tref]

I likee.

[Nephythys]

Thank you Tref- I appreciate that!

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

I like the repetition of the breeze as as spirit, and the last three stanzas were especially nice.

[Nephythys]

I'm also open to suggestions on how to work it and make it better-

Thanks Eliza