OFFICIAL Kings Canyon Camp Swank Thread

[Not Afraid]

So.....what if we have an earthquake while we're up there? What if it snows? What if a bunch of snow melts and the river floods the whole canyon and we're trapped? What if the Scientologist decide that June 4th-10th is the dates for the Annual Scientology Camping Trip to Kings Canyon? What if Cindy starts her period and we don't have any tampons and the store is closed? What if I decide to start drinking? What if someone "falls" into the rushing river? What if we forget to pack clothes? What if I don't bring poop bags with me? What if the squirrels band together and attack? What if someone get bubonic plague from a squirrel bite? What if Al Qaeda flies a plane into Muir's Pulpit? What if there's an Alien Abduction? Who would they take? What if the country is placed in a state of marshal law? What if we only have white wine and we're serving red meat? What if our cell phones won't work (they won't). What if there's a power failure and all of the ice cream in the general store melts? What if we don't have exact change for the shower? What if Chris finds himself aroused by Kevy's Black Dick? What if it turns out that Kevy's black dick isn't really black but a darn purple? What if NirvanaMan stays sober the entire weekend? What if we get crabs? What if there's no toilet paper? What if there's an accident on the 5 and none of us can get there? What if the campsite has been turned into a development of luxury condos? What if a bear sh!ts in the communal kitchen? What if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it?






(Thanks to Chris to his input and inspiration.)

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

So.....what if we have an earthquake while we're up there?

We ride it and talk about it for hours on end

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if it snows?

We'll probably be cold

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if a bunch of snow melts and the river floods the whole canyon and we're trapped?

Then we're cold AND screwed

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if the Scientologists decide that June 4th-10th is the dates for the Annual Scientology Camping Trip to Kings Canyon?

I checked with Tom and he assured me it won't happen.

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if I decide to start drinking?

I'll stop you

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if Cindy starts her period and we don't have any tampons and the store is closed?

We'll hand her a roll of toilet paper and tell her to improvise

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if someone "falls" into the rushing river?

We won't let you push Cindy into the river if her period starts and we don't have any tampons and the store is closed.

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if we forget to pack clothes?

Then it will be "Naked Camp Swank"

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if I don't bring poop bags with me?

You will have a rough time cleaning up after Thurston (or Chris, depending on who the bags were intended for)

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if the squirrels band together and attack?

We're screwed

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if someone get bubonic plague from a squirrel bite?

They're screwed

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if Al Qaeda flies a plane into Muir's Pulpit?

Muir's Pulpit will probably be screwed

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if there's an Alien Abduction? Who would they take?

Probably not Cindy if her period starts and we don't have any tampons and the store is closed.

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if the country is placed in a state of marshal law?

We probably won't go

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if we only have white wine and we're serving red meat?

We have white wine with red meat

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if our cell phones won't work (they won't).

We won't make (or receive) cell phone calls

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if there's a power failure and all of the ice cream in the general store melts?

There won't be any ice cream at the general store

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if we don't have exact change for the shower?

We'll stink

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if Chris finds himself aroused by Kevy's Black Dick?

I would probably invite him back to out tent

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if it turns out that Kevy's black dick isn't really black but a darn purple?

It's actually more of a dark brown

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if NirvanaMan stays sober the entire weekend?

Yeah, that won't happen

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if we get crabs?

We get some bread crumbs, Creole seasonings, mayonnaise, and an egg and make crab cakes

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if there's no toilet paper?

Then Cindy is screwed if her period starts and we don't have any tampons and the store is closed.

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if there's an accident on the 5 and none of us can get there?

It will be a pretty crappy weekend. And some people might be injured (or even killed) in the accident

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if the campsite has been turned into a development of luxury condos?

Some people will have very nice condos

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if a bear sh!ts in the communal kitchen?

We clean it up

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

What if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it?

We clean it up

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

(Thanks to Chris to his input and inspiration.)

(Hopefully he said "You're Welcome")

[Capt Jack]

let me make sure I have this right

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

We'll probably be cold
We're screwed
Then we're cold AND screwed
They're screwed
We'll stink
Some people will have very nice condos

right?

cool