American Journeys. Mortification by me, 1991 (age 25) PART 1

[Alex]

It is always interesting to see the mundane things that strike people from outside the culture as comment worthy.

[wendybeth]

I love seeing America this way. It's much more interesting than traveling it yourself, and less expensive!

(Awesome stuff, Lash- keep it coming!)

[lashbear]

Originally Posted by Alex

It is always interesting to see the mundane things that strike people from outside the culture as comment worthy.

That's the thing that fascinated me too, re-reading it all these years later.
Tipping, Toilets, Mr coffee (that's coming up), water on the tables at restaurants... all of this classifies as culture shock to those not from the USA (not that we don't have toilets down here, mind)

[lashbear]

DAY TWO...Saturday 30th November 1991


I awoke at 9:30 this morning, without the slightest trace of a hangover. I used the automatic timer "Mr Coffee Jr" to great advantage, then Maree eventually awoke (With me slurping coffee, the coffeemaker going "thwoik/splat/drip", and the refreshing smell of smoke, is it any wonder?). we got ourselves into gear then went down to breakfast, American style.

The restaurant/cafe downstairs was nicely decorated, and we settled down to read the menu. I decided to order Corned Beef Hash. It arrived, accompanied by home-fried potatoes and fried eggs! I was sure to have a high cholesterol count shortly after.

Having finished the meal and paid the inexpensive bill, we decided to go shopping. One of the largest stores in town was Emporium.

It was a grand store inside, and quite large. I spent a lot of the time looking for the toilet. When I finally found it (oh blessed relief) it was labelled the restroom (I should have known). I then discovered the most delicious drink known to the civilised world......Dr Pepper. This drink has a wonderful taste, not unlike sarsaparilla, and it is quite unique. I ended up drinking about 40 litres of it throughout the duration of the trip.

Once we had left the Emporium, we went over to STBS (SanFrancisco Ticket Booking Service), which was located at Union Square, to try and get tickets for "Beach Blanket Babylon" at Club Fugazi. It turned out that there were no tickets available until the middle of the next week......VERY popular show.

We went around the corner of Union Square, and were greeted by the sight of children playing in the snow. SNOW?! Yes, even though it was winter, the temperature never got below a very comfortable 15 degrees C. and so the city had provided a snow-making machine to provide a white christmas for everyone. We took some photos, and then at 11.30 headed down to the Cable-Car turnaround, to the Reebok shop.

I bought a pair of Weebocks for someone back home, and then we went to a discount electronic/souvenir shop. I had always wanted a Zippo lighter, and so I bought one. Maree bought a mini-cassette recorder for Barrie. We went out, and next door to the newsagent, where they filled my lighter for free, and I bought another bottle of Dr Pepper.

We retraced our steps, went to the cable-cars again, bought a ticket from the vending machine, and hopped on a cable-car (again) to return once more to Fisherman's Wharf. I had promised a friend of mine, Jo, that I would get her a pair of native American earrings. I found a stall set up outside one of the piers along the Embarcadero, which had the most beautiful Peacock feather earrings, so I bought a pair.

Heading to our left, once again, we headed for Pier 39. Once there, we went upstairs to see "The SanFrancisco Experience". This was a multi-media presentation, giving the history of the city, and including such highlights as the great earthquake, during which there was rumblings, fire and smoke, and showing you around all the areas with various lighting and sound effects to go with the projected pictures on the screen. In the foyer, there was a selection of antique coin-operated amusement machines. We tried some, and in one we had a penny pressed flat and stamped "SanFrancisco" as a souvenir. These machines abounded throughout our trip.

We went out into the sunshine again, and decided to look around the shops for an hour or so.

We went into "The Last Woundup", which was full of wind-up and batter-operated toys. There was a sign over the counter that proved that even the Americans have a sense of humour about themselves. It said; "Relax, if you break it, you don't have to pay for it - Feel free to play with the merchandise - eat, drink and be merry while in the shop - All our staff have been instructed NOT to tell you to 'have a nice day'".

"Kitty City" had an enormous range of merchandise, all themed around cats. "The Music Box Shop" sold - you guessed it - Music boxes. the sound while in the shop was magical, as there must have been 100 various music boxes going at any one time. We went into "The Carousel Shop" (where do they come up with these unusual names?) and looked at the carousel horses, memorabilia and recordings. I bought a tape of Marches played on a wurlitzer carousel organ.

[lashbear]

After that, it was time to sample our first American Hotdog. We went to the cart that stood in the centre of the wharf, and each ordered a "red-hot" (the original name for them when they were introduced at Coney Island by a young pie vendor named Charles Feldtman, who experimentally put a vienna sausage into a kaiser roll). Once the actual hotdog was in our hands, we were then faced with 1000 toppings to put on it like onions, mustard, catsup, pickles, cheese, olives, relish, and chutney.

We had laden our goodies onto the bun, and we were then faced with the problem of how to eat something 10 times the size of our mouths. We made a good go of it, and went to the double-decker carousel in the very centre of the pier.

The carousel is one of the main attractions at Pier 39. It is two stories tall, and was made in Vienna at the turn of the century. It was beautiful to watch, and we soon made short work of the hotdogs.

We then went to try on a pair of 501's. Neither could find a pair to fit, as one of us was too tall, and the other too short. (Can you guess which was which?). One of the most unusual shops we went into was called "SanFrancisco Country", and it specialised in all things that are cow-themed. There was a phone ("Reach out and milk someone") and aprons, pottery and everything you could imagine, all in the shape of cows, or patterned in the familiar black and white cow pattern.

We Went into a really "swinging" shop next....the Hammock shop. It had an array of hand made and commercial hammocks in all the colours of the rainbow. The name was again one of the less original ones, though. One shop that was original was "Design In motion". This was a shop full of kinetic artworks. I could have stayed there for hours watching the various pieces moving all over the place. After a bit more window-shopping we decided it was time for coffee.

We had been walking around for a while, and I was in need of something, so we went to the coffee shop on the top level of the two-story wharf. I ordered a "SanFrancisco blend" from the hundreds of different coffee blends available, and while waiting, I saw a range of flavouring drops to put in coffee. I chose Tia Maria flavour (Non-alcoholic, of course). Then the coffee arrived, and we went outside for me to have a smoke while I drank it.

It was lovely standing out on the top deck of the pier, drinking coffee and looking out across the moonlit harbour while the.......WAIT A MINUTE, did I say moonlit? Yes, our little "look around for an hour or so" had turned into an all-day window shopping spree! We didn't worry, but went onward, to the NFL shop.

I had promised to get a pigskin football for a friend, and so we went in to shop. The cheapest one was $100 (US!) and so I decided not to get one, as they wanted a few other things as well. We headed downstairs, where I had some fries from the burger cafe, then we hopped on a cable-car home again. On the way, we stopped in at Jack-in-the-box ("Hungry Jacks" to ozzies) where I got a chicken and mushroom sandwich (more like a burger than a sandwich), a seasoned curly fries and a small Dr Pepper for $5.82 (inc. tax) and Maree got a cheese burger and large fries for $2.00 (inc. tax).
Once we had bought that, we stopped in at walgreens, which is kind of like an all-night grocery store. (imagine 7-11 with a huge range of items. I wish we had these back home. we bought milk, 2 large bottles of Dr Pepper (guess who for?), a cherry-flavoured chapstick and a packet of cigarettes (which were only $2.10.) I went back and got an aerosol can of cheese. Yes, cheese in a can! it came out like sticky yellow spaghetti and you squirted it onto crackers. I bought some ritz (like our Jatz) crackers to go with it.

Gathering our goods and chattels, we headed back to the hotel room. There we were in for a surprise!

While we had been out on the town, the magic maids had been in our room and made the beds. That was no surprise, but they had also arranged all our stuff neatly, including all the loose change which had been thrown on the bedside table, which was now neatly stacked, all the bits and pieces that had been thrown on the floor were now folded, hung, placed just so, etc. What a shock.

We ate our dinner (mine garnished with squirty cheese) and then I freshened up and went to the bar in the lobby. Once I had gone, Maree had a bath and went to bed, but while she was asleep........

I met suzy, the barmaid, and her boyfriend downstairs. We chatted a bit, and I tried quite a few american beers. They all are mostly pretty tame. Suzy then introduced me to "hot shots". I had been bragging about the australian capacity for alcohol, and so far, it seemed the truth as suzy's boyfrfiend was keeping up with me drink for drink, and he was a lot worse off than I was. That was when suzy poured a couple of spirits in a glass, squished some lemon into it, then gave ma a salt shaker. This was a "Hot shot". it had Tequila, some sort of spicy Vodka and lemon juice in it, and you had to lick the salt and then swallow the drink. If you liked, you could suck a lemon wedge after, but the lemon in the drink was enough. WELL.......

after two of those (on the house) I was beginning to see more than one of everything! Anyhow.... the night was growing old, when suzy informed me that she was leaving soon to go to a party which was for the boss of the other nightclub where she also worked. Would I like to come along?

We hopped into her open top jeep, and took off to the border of chinatown. This was a japanese (I think) nightclub. The drinks and entertainment were free, so we were having a good time, but Suzy's boyfriend was getting tired, (at about 12.45am) and so they dropped me back to the hotel at 1.00am. I went upstairs, and chatted to maree until about 2.30, when we both fell asleep.