The Hobbit has a director and a sequel

[Disneyphile]

I'm quite happy with Del Toro, since this means we won't have a 40-minute ending featuring softcore Hobbit porn.

About the sequel though.... Ken's going to have a coronary. Wait until he reads about this. Oh dear...

[mousepod]

To address a couple of comments here: there are a couple of pretty cool King Kong & LOTR fanedits floating around...

[Chernabog]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

I'm quite happy with Del Toro, since this means we won't have a 40-minute ending featuring softcore Hobbit porn.

HEYYYYY I'm still annoyed that Frodo and Sam didn't frack on the boat at the end of Fellowship.

About the sequel though.... Ken's going to have a coronary. Wait until he reads about this. Oh dear...

Really, having experienced good stories in Tolkien's world that were not written by Tolkien, I'm not about go to into anaphylactic shock.

[innerSpaceman]

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

One thing that had a die-hard LotR's book fan FUMING to the point of disgust were the elves showing up at the Helms Deep battle in the Twin Towers. I disagreed. I think Jackson corrected one of Tolkien's mistakes; those friggin' elves should have been there, dammit.

Not unless they could fly. Did they use their broomsticks to get there? Or else how did they arrive a few hours after our heroes? Were they tailing them the whole time?

Point in fact, elves did show up at the Battle of Helm's Deep in The Two Towers, but they were from Rivendell. Among them were some of Elrond's sons, buddies of Aragorn.

Oh, I understand switching it to a character the audience knew from Lorien, but the logical gaffe of them having to have decided to set off for Helm's Deep from Lothlorien about four minutes behind Aragorn just bugs me no end. Sloppy.




ETA: Cherny - just what stories in Tolkien's world were not written by Tolkien???

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Not unless they could fly. Did they use their broomsticks to get there? Or else arrive a few hours after our heroes? Were they tailing them the whole time.

Point in fact, elves did show up at the Battle of Helm's Deep in The Two Towers, but they were from Rivendell. Among them were some of Elrond's sons, buddies of Aragorn.

Oh, I understand switching it to a character the audience knew from Lorien, but the logical gaffe of them having to have decided to set off for Helm's Deep from Lothlorien about four minutes behind Aragorn just bugs me no end. Sloppy.

Let me clarify, unless I'm mistaken, elves showed up to make a delivery in the books, yes? But I don't believe that fought in the battle. It was their inclusion in the battle that pissed off my friends. Whereas I think they belong in the fight.

[innerSpaceman]

They were there to deliver the L.A. Times, yes.



Huh? Deliver the books? WTF? Um, no, they were there to aid Aragorn in his kingship quest, knowing full well that might mean warlording it for a while.




What books??? I'm so confused?

What Tolkien stories not written by Tolkien??



Can Ken and I go out for a drink and sob for a while??

[Alex]

iSm: I believe it was a reference to these paragraphs in Chernabog's post above:

I've been involved over the last year in Lord of the Rings Online, which has lots of the locations from "Fellowship of the Ring" but also entire locations that are just mentioned in the "history" books -- Angmar, Evendim, Forochel, Helegrod, Carn Dum -- and compelling locations and stories have been made for these areas -- many of them just made from scratch by the game company.

I have no doubt that if video game programmers could come up with this stuff, someone like Guillermo Del Toro, who I also think is a fvcking brilliant director, would come up with ways to a) make The Hobbit more cinematic and b) make a sequel set in the same world which isn't crap. What I mean is I don't think the idea is a crap idea from the outset.

[Kevy Baby]

No, I believe it was a reference to this:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

[innerSpaceman]

Well, if that's the case, Alex, I'm very glad Cherny enjoys the video game stories made up by nerds in Palo Alto. I'm sure he'd also enjoy the fan fic where Frodo and Sam frack on the boat trip out of the Grey Havens.


Whatever. Games or fan fiction, it's all bullsh!t written by people who are amateurs dabbling with other people's creations. I'm sure some of it is good. Hundred monkeys with typewriters.


But, hahaha, the chance of a concocted sequel being good are miniscule compared to the chances of geekazoid video games being good or even some hot frack fan fic being fanfu<kingtastic.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

fanfu<kingtastic.

I do believe that's the technical term for quality fanfic pr0n.

Not that I know anything about this.