Toiletry

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 01-13-2005, 04:22 PM

I’ve heard it on good authority
That the overwhelming majority
Would prefer a good splishy splash bidet
To the rash inducing rubbing of toilet pa-pay.

I’ve heard it through the old vine of grape
That the slender neck, at the very nape,
Where the Tower of Ivory meets the floor,
Is the best place for cat hair to gather its strength, or

perhaps I’ve been swayed by lies and farce,
That this hair develops a skill for parse,
But on cold nights I can hear them whisper,
“We Dust Bunny Cat Monkeys are after your Lisp, Sir.”

“Sir?” – my alarm cry – “I…I…I’m a girl,”
Of sugar and spice and a bouncing curl.
“Ho, no,” sigh the Dusties, “we’ve seen your face,
And from our lowered perspective you have a man’s grace.”

And I’ve heard it said once and twice before,
Not just from cat hair on the bathroom floor,
That I’ve got the look of a boy in me,
So you're welcome, Dust Monkeys, to climb my Toilet Tree.

Ghoulish Delight · 01-13-2005, 04:27 PM

I dig, cat....I mean kitten!

tracilicious · 01-13-2005, 05:36 PM

I love that you used the word parse. Excellent job.

Claire · 01-13-2005, 06:41 PM

I am cracking up!!!

I hate cleaning that little porcelain area around the front of the toilet....but I really REALLY hate cleaning the great big hairy area behind the toilet. Ew.

I also hate when my knees pop. Can you write about that?

Betty · 01-13-2005, 06:50 PM

*snappity-snap-snap*

Cadaverous Pallor · 01-13-2005, 08:42 PM

Hellz yeah!

Uh, I mean, groovy, Bree.

blueerica · 01-13-2005, 08:44 PM

Fantastic!

Tref · 01-13-2005, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

... Of sugar and spice and a bouncing curl ...

Mama Wordsmith, you are tu-tu much.

01-13-2005, 04:22 PM	#1
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	Toiletry I’ve heard it on good authority That the overwhelming majority Would prefer a good splishy splash bidet To the rash inducing rubbing of toilet pa-pay. I’ve heard it through the old vine of grape That the slender neck, at the very nape, Where the Tower of Ivory meets the floor, Is the best place for cat hair to gather its strength, or perhaps I’ve been swayed by lies and farce, That this hair develops a skill for parse, But on cold nights I can hear them whisper, “We Dust Bunny Cat Monkeys are after your Lisp, Sir.” “Sir?” – my alarm cry – “I…I…I’m a girl,” Of sugar and spice and a bouncing curl. “Ho, no,” sigh the Dusties, “we’ve seen your face, And from our lowered perspective you have a man’s grace.” And I’ve heard it said once and twice before, Not just from cat hair on the bathroom floor, That I’ve got the look of a boy in me, So you're welcome, Dust Monkeys, to climb my Toilet Tree. Last edited by Eliza Hodgkins 1812 : 01-13-2005 at 05:02 PM.
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01-13-2005, 04:27 PM	#2
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	I dig, cat....I mean kitten! __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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01-13-2005, 05:36 PM	#3
tracilicious avatar transition Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in-between Posts: 2,487	I love that you used the word parse. Excellent job.
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01-13-2005, 06:41 PM	#4
Claire Shagilicious Disneyland!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Fulfilling my destiny..... Posts: 740	I am cracking up!!! I hate cleaning that little porcelain area around the front of the toilet....but I really REALLY hate cleaning the great big hairy area behind the toilet. Ew. I also hate when my knees pop. Can you write about that? __________________ Miles: It tastes like the back of a fing L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bull**. Fin' Raid. Jack: Tastes pretty good to me.
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01-13-2005, 06:50 PM	#5
Betty Kicking up my heels! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Silver State Posts: 3,783	snappity-snap-snap
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01-13-2005, 08:42 PM	#6
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	Hellz yeah! Uh, I mean, groovy, Bree. __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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01-13-2005, 08:44 PM	#7
blueerica Nueve Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 6,497	Fantastic! __________________ Tomorrow is the day for you and me
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