Favorite George Carlin Quotes

[Ghoulish Delight]

One of my favorites can't be reproduced in text. It was his impression of a conservative housewife dropping a casserole. It was simply one word. "Sh!t" But it was all in the way he said it, of course.

[Motorboat Cruiser]

Just a couple of favorites-

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!

[Tref]

I can't speak for any of the quotes above but so you know, a few years ago, George Carlin posted a message his website that the famous e-mail list of Carlin quotes were not his. Not-a one.

Like I said, I do not know the source of the above quotes but be-vare!

[NickO'Time]

Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!

Absolutely my favorite quote from this man.