Feeling goofy - post your favorite lame jokes here

[Tramspotter]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

This thread needs Tramspotting.

Ask and you shall receive...


So this city guy moves out to rural Montana to get away from it all. And two days after his arrival, his neighbor shows up at the front door. Total outdoors-man, cow-punching looking dude. He waits a beat and says, "So ah reckin there should be a welcome to the nayberhood git together for ya."

The city guy is delighted, as he didn't quite know how he would fit in.

His new neighbor continues "But I gotta warn ya, there's gonna be some heavy drinking." "Thats fine with me in-fact I enjoy a good whiskey" says the new arrival." "There's probably gonna be some fighting and fvckin as well." the neighbor added.

"Hey no, it's fine thats why I came out here - to cut loose! What should I wear?"

"Don't rightly matter," says the cowpuncher, "just gonna be the two of us."

[lindyhop]

A woman sees a funeral procession: a hearse followed by a woman in black walking a dog, followed by another hearse with a long line of women following the second hearse. She asks the woman in black what's going on.

The woman tells her: That's my husband in the hearse in front. His mistress is in the hearse back there. My dog killed them both.

The first woman asks: Can I borrow your dog?

The widow replies: Get in line.

[scaeagles]

Two atoms are walking down the street.

First atom: "Damn, I lost and electron!"
Second atom: "Are you sure?"
First atom: "Yes, I'm positive."

And a totally tasteless knock knock joke:

Spoiler:

knock, knock
who's there?
little boy blue
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson

[wendybeth]

What does a blonde say after having sex ?

Spoiler:

What team do you guys play for !