Feeling goofy - post your favorite lame jokes here - Page 6

Matterhorn Fan · 04-23-2005, 07:28 AM

If the kitchen's in the house, and Diana's in the kitchen, what's in Diana?

Spoiler:

Ghoulish Delight · 04-23-2005, 12:32 PM

WARNING: Use of racial slur ahead...

Why is the Chinese army known as the most vulnerable in the world?

Spoiler:

Motorboat Cruiser · 04-23-2005, 01:02 PM

This one sometimes takes people a few minutes. It is horribly tasteless and somewhat raunchy. I should probably just go ahead and apologize beforehand.

What do you call a mexican prostitute with no legs?

Spoiler:

(hey, can I help it that all the jokes I seem to remember are tasteless?)

scaeagles · 04-23-2005, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

Why are all blonde jokes one liners?

Spoiler:

Huh? I don't get it.

surfinmuse · 04-23-2005, 08:32 PM

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He sees from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the bank manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says.... "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

DwoernAdale · 04-23-2005, 09:21 PM

An elderly couple is driving down the highway. The gentleman driving notices a state trooper is behind him with his lights on so he pulls over.

Trooper: How are you folks today?

Old woman: Whaatt?!

Old man: (loudly) He asked how we are doing today! You'll have to excuse my wife officer, she's a bit hard of hearing.

Trooper: Thats fine. I see from your liscence plates you folks are from Florida.

Old woman: Whhaat?!

Old man: (loudly) He says he sees we're from Florida!

Trooper: Had the worst piece of ass I've ever had in Florida.

Old woman: Whaatt?!

Old man: (loudly) He says he thinks he knows you!!

CoasterMatt · 04-23-2005, 09:24 PM

Rocket Rods

lindyhop · 04-24-2005, 01:54 PM

What do you call 10,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Spoiler:

How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler:

Kevy Baby · 04-24-2005, 08:01 PM

Fair warning here. This is the grossest joke I know.

What is the definition of gross?

Waking up the morning after with a lump in your throat...

Spoiler:

Name · 04-25-2005, 09:45 PM

How are men like hard wood floors?

Spoiler:

04-23-2005, 07:28 AM	#51
Matterhorn Fan Double Agent Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Back East Posts: 2,071	If the kitchen's in the house, and Diana's in the kitchen, what's in Diana? Spoiler: A state.
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04-23-2005, 12:32 PM	#52
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	WARNING: Use of racial slur ahead... Why is the Chinese army known as the most vulnerable in the world? Spoiler: Because of all the chinks in their armor. __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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04-23-2005, 01:02 PM	#53
Motorboat Cruiser Cruiser of Motorboats Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: So Cal Posts: 3,665	This one sometimes takes people a few minutes. It is horribly tasteless and somewhat raunchy. I should probably just go ahead and apologize beforehand. What do you call a mexican prostitute with no legs? Spoiler: Consuelo (hey, can I help it that all the jokes I seem to remember are tasteless?)
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04-23-2005, 08:32 PM	#55
surfinmuse Mind the Gap Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 123	A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He sees from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the bank manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says.... "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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04-23-2005, 09:21 PM	#56
DwoernAdale Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: NV Posts: 42	An elderly couple is driving down the highway. The gentleman driving notices a state trooper is behind him with his lights on so he pulls over. Trooper: How are you folks today? Old woman: Whaatt?! Old man: (loudly) He asked how we are doing today! You'll have to excuse my wife officer, she's a bit hard of hearing. Trooper: Thats fine. I see from your liscence plates you folks are from Florida. Old woman: Whhaat?! Old man: (loudly) He says he sees we're from Florida! Trooper: Had the worst piece of ass I've ever had in Florida. Old woman: Whaatt?! Old man: (loudly) He says he thinks he knows you!!
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04-23-2005, 09:24 PM	#57
CoasterMatt BRAAAAAAAINS! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: One Step Beyond... Posts: 8,802	Rocket Rods __________________ Do you like my photography? Visit photosbymatt.tumblr.com to purchase prints!
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04-24-2005, 01:54 PM	#58
lindyhop Swing Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 997	What do you call 10,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Spoiler: A good start. How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb? Spoiler: None. It's a hardware problem.
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04-24-2005, 08:01 PM	#59
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	Fair warning here. This is the grossest joke I know. What is the definition of gross? Waking up the morning after with a lump in your throat... Spoiler: And a string hanging out of your mouth. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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04-25-2005, 09:45 PM	#60
Name Title Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: here Posts: 779	How are men like hard wood floors? Spoiler: lay them right the first time, and you can walk all over them for years __________________ Signature
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