Your first boyfriend or girlfriend

scaeagles · 10-13-2008, 07:31 AM

I was 13 when I had my first girlfriend.

I don't think you can set an age on it - has to do with the maturity of the kid. I do, however, think that there is so much more sex in the media that the age seems to keep getting pushed earlier and earlier. As an example, I'm watching football with my 9 years old son yesterday, and a commerical comes on for the movie about two friends that makes a porno. My son says "What's a porno?". Like I want to explain to my 9 year old son what a porno is? But I suppose the inappropriateness of commercials during family viewing time is another issue....just making a point about how times certainly are changing.

My daughter is almost 15 and while she's had her crushes, she has no interest nor time to have a boyfriend. I've actually had to give her lessons in letting guys down easily. Three of four times she's told her mom that some guy has come up to her and said "I like you. Do you like me?" and she hasn't been very....uh, kind? Tactful?....in her response.

I am counting my blessings that this has not been an issue or point if interest in her life. she also has the advantage of a best friend that just got hurt by a guy two years older, and that has opened her eyes quite a bit to the emotional consequences often assocated with early teen relationships.

BDBopper · 10-13-2008, 08:11 AM

I was 14 and a half when I had my first and only girlfriend. Her name was Misty. We would kiss but that is only as far as we went because we both knew that anything more was inappropriate.

I am a very romantic person. I spoiled Misty a lot. Not a lot of money was spent. Rather I spoiled her in small ways. For example one Valentine's Day I gave her a box of mix tapes that I had spent months recording for her.

After almost three years she decided that she wanted to see someone else. She called me the day before Final Exams in 1999. I was crushed but I wanted her to be happy so I let her go. In the end our personalities didn't match too well. I was and am still sensitive (in a way she considered too much so).

I learned a valuable lesson, a lesson I hope you can pass on to your kids (to everyone) A successful relationship is give-take. I spent all of the time giving and very little time taking because with her personality she did not and could not return my tokens of love (if that makes any sense).

It's been almost ten years now without being in a romantic relationship. After the break up I did eventually start looking again but my heart was still hurt. I found some nice girls but looked closely and (maybe wrongly) assumed they were already taken and never stepped forward. I didn't want what happened to me happen to anyone else on my account. I knew how terrible it felt to have my heart broken. Maybe you see that as a sign of weakness but I have my standards and principles and I try to stand by them.

Betty, I hope and pray that your daughter doesn't have to go through what I have been through. to say I am lonely is a complete understatement. I was too young to be dating and I let the relationship go on too long. Now look at me. ( where is a crying cheese when you want to use one?)

10-13-2008, 07:31 AM	#1
scaeagles I LIKE! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,819	I was 13 when I had my first girlfriend. I don't think you can set an age on it - has to do with the maturity of the kid. I do, however, think that there is so much more sex in the media that the age seems to keep getting pushed earlier and earlier. As an example, I'm watching football with my 9 years old son yesterday, and a commerical comes on for the movie about two friends that makes a porno. My son says "What's a porno?". Like I want to explain to my 9 year old son what a porno is? But I suppose the inappropriateness of commercials during family viewing time is another issue....just making a point about how times certainly are changing. My daughter is almost 15 and while she's had her crushes, she has no interest nor time to have a boyfriend. I've actually had to give her lessons in letting guys down easily. Three of four times she's told her mom that some guy has come up to her and said "I like you. Do you like me?" and she hasn't been very....uh, kind? Tactful?....in her response. I am counting my blessings that this has not been an issue or point if interest in her life. she also has the advantage of a best friend that just got hurt by a guy two years older, and that has opened her eyes quite a bit to the emotional consequences often assocated with early teen relationships.
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10-13-2008, 08:11 AM	#2
BDBopper Not Taking Any Crap! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Cleaning Up America, One Step At A Time! Posts: 1,694	I was 14 and a half when I had my first and only girlfriend. Her name was Misty. We would kiss but that is only as far as we went because we both knew that anything more was inappropriate. I am a very romantic person. I spoiled Misty a lot. Not a lot of money was spent. Rather I spoiled her in small ways. For example one Valentine's Day I gave her a box of mix tapes that I had spent months recording for her. After almost three years she decided that she wanted to see someone else. She called me the day before Final Exams in 1999. I was crushed but I wanted her to be happy so I let her go. In the end our personalities didn't match too well. I was and am still sensitive (in a way she considered too much so). I learned a valuable lesson, a lesson I hope you can pass on to your kids (to everyone) A successful relationship is give-take. I spent all of the time giving and very little time taking because with her personality she did not and could not return my tokens of love (if that makes any sense). It's been almost ten years now without being in a romantic relationship. After the break up I did eventually start looking again but my heart was still hurt. I found some nice girls but looked closely and (maybe wrongly) assumed they were already taken and never stepped forward. I didn't want what happened to me happen to anyone else on my account. I knew how terrible it felt to have my heart broken. Maybe you see that as a sign of weakness but I have my standards and principles and I try to stand by them. Betty, I hope and pray that your daughter doesn't have to go through what I have been through. to say I am lonely is a complete understatement. I was too young to be dating and I let the relationship go on too long. Now look at me. ( where is a crying cheese when you want to use one?)
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