Keep a dirty house! - Page 4

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 12-15-2008, 04:08 PM

Shopping carts and restaurant tables don't concern me. Babies, however, are disgusting creatures who spit up on themselves and **** in their pants. The next time someone asks me to hold their baby, I'm going to demand some sort of prophylactic parka before touching it. Babies expose you to e coli and worms. I can live with germs, but I don't know how any of you live with babies.

Cadaverous Pallor · 12-15-2008, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

Shopping carts and restaurant tables don't concern me. Babies, however, are disgusting creatures who spit up on themselves and **** in their pants. The next time someone asks me to hold their baby, I'm going to demand some sort of prophylactic parka before touching it. Babies expose you to e coli and worms. I can live with germs, but I don't know how any of you live with babies.

The first thing that pops into my head while reading this is that one day you will probably care for an ailing loved one and be exposed to their crap and vomit.

Here's how people live with babies, and the elderly, and handicapped family members - because they love them enough to deal with a little bit of ickiness.

I know this is supposed to be half-joking, but it still makes me wonder if you'd come near my future child, or my horribly infected future household, or give future me a hug even though I'll be crawling in cooties.

SzczerbiakManiac · 12-15-2008, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

my future child

OMG!! CP is with child! Spread the word!

Alex · 12-15-2008, 04:57 PM

If I ever have kids I'm going to wait until it is five to start protecting it. I don't want to form an unnaturally early emotional bond just to have it die on me anyway. To help make them stronger I'll make them tongue clean one toilet seat every week; not to improve their immune system (see next paragraph) but rather so that they learn that sometimes life is unfair and whining doesn't make it any better.

My view on germs is that I can't see them so they, like the inside of my eyelids, don't exist. Illness is actually a moral failing and the big pharma conspiracy has convinced us otherwise so that we'll buy their products. As evidence I present exhibit A: Louis Pasteur owned stock in Pfizer.

tracilicious · 12-15-2008, 04:58 PM

Wow! Congrats CP and GD!!!!! Good luck fighting it out about the placemats.

Alex · 12-15-2008, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

I know this is supposed to be half-joking, but it still makes me wonder if you'd come near my future child, or my horribly infected future household, or give future me a hug even though I'll be crawling in cooties.

Of course I'd come near your future child. Future children are amazingly sterile (and by that I mean they produce no sperm). We'd have a problem, though, if it was standing next to a current or past child (although they they also, up to a certain point for some and indefinitely for others also produce no sperm).

Capt Jack · 12-15-2008, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

Shopping carts and restaurant tables don't concern me. Babies, however, are disgusting creatures who spit up on themselves and **** in their pants. The next time someone asks me to hold their baby, I'm going to demand some sort of prophylactic parka before touching it. Babies expose you to e coli and worms. I can live with germs, but I don't know how any of you live with babies.

heh. you obviously dont/wont have dogs either then. the only variant from that description is (most) dogs dont wear pants.

although some are seen in the occasional colorful shirt.

tracilicious · 12-15-2008, 05:09 PM

I've been wondering when Alex would show up in this thread.

Alex · 12-15-2008, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt Jack

heh. you obviously dont/wont have dogs either then. the only variant from that description is (most) dogs dont wear pants.

although some are seen in the occasional colorful shirt.

On the other hand, most canine diseases do not jump the species barrier. I could catch pretty much anything a baby has (though, seriously, I'm not in the least a germophobe; I assume I'll die of something so if licking a public restroom floor looked like fun I'd give it a go; fortunately for my immune system it doesn't look like much fun).

My only problem with germ prevention efforts is how irrationally inconsistent many people are about them. And how little understanding they have of the true risks so that they can make informed decisions (a lot of people seem to assume that germs can instantly transport themselves to anything within line of sight).

JWBear · 12-15-2008, 05:32 PM

I want some of whatever Alex is on!

12-15-2008, 04:08 PM	#31
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	Shopping carts and restaurant tables don't concern me. Babies, however, are disgusting creatures who spit up on themselves and **** in their pants. The next time someone asks me to hold their baby, I'm going to demand some sort of prophylactic parka before touching it. Babies expose you to e coli and worms. I can live with germs, but I don't know how any of you live with babies.
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12-15-2008, 04:57 PM	#34
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	If I ever have kids I'm going to wait until it is five to start protecting it. I don't want to form an unnaturally early emotional bond just to have it die on me anyway. To help make them stronger I'll make them tongue clean one toilet seat every week; not to improve their immune system (see next paragraph) but rather so that they learn that sometimes life is unfair and whining doesn't make it any better. My view on germs is that I can't see them so they, like the inside of my eyelids, don't exist. Illness is actually a moral failing and the big pharma conspiracy has convinced us otherwise so that we'll buy their products. As evidence I present exhibit A: Louis Pasteur owned stock in Pfizer.
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12-15-2008, 04:58 PM	#35
tracilicious avatar transition Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in-between Posts: 2,487	Wow! Congrats CP and GD!!!!! Good luck fighting it out about the placemats. __________________ And now Harry, let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure! - Albus Dumbledore
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12-15-2008, 05:09 PM	#38
tracilicious avatar transition Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in-between Posts: 2,487	I've been wondering when Alex would show up in this thread. __________________ And now Harry, let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure! - Albus Dumbledore
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12-15-2008, 05:32 PM	#40
JWBear Worn Romantic Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Long Beach California Posts: 8,435	I want some of whatever Alex is on! __________________ Unrestrained frivolity will lead to the downfall of modern society.
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