Eco-guilt

second class citizen · 03-19-2009, 03:49 PM

Anyone remember the old SNL "commercial" skit where the wife squirted some foamy product from a can onto the floor and started mopping while her husband grabbed the same can out of her hand and squirted some to top off his ice cream?

"It's a floor wax!" she said.

"It's a desert topping!" he exclaimed.

"It's BOTH!" the announcer boasts. "It's a floor wax AND a desert topping!"

This scene came to mind today after John and I went to Target yesterday to buy some wood cleaner for our wood patio furniture. I wanted to get something to remove all the grim off the wood table and buffet before giving them a their fresh yearly coat of teak oil to help protect them from the elements.

At Target in the Cleaning Products aisle I saw some Method Good for Wood. Reading the label, I saw that it was eco-friendly and smelled of almond. And it was cheap.

So, today, being such a nice day outside, I armed myself with my newly acquired cleaning agent and some old tattered white washclothes to tackle the job at hand.

I sprayed some of the liquid on the clean white cloth and immediately was taken back by the aroma. It was incredible! My stomach started gurgling and grumbling, thinking of the mixed nuts milkshake that I'd just recently had at the Land of Fruits and Nuts place on the Queen Mary (we went there last weekend to take advantage of their CA residents get in free deal). I guess the almond smell made me think of the nuts and caramel syrup, the lady had put in my shake.

After wiping the clean almond scented soaked cloth once across the top of the table, I turned it over to inspect how much dirt it had taken off. There were jet black "finger" marks on the otherwise pristine white rag where it had picked up all the outdoor grime. The top was already looking shiny, luscrous and new. I was amazed!

I instantly felt like I was in some bizarre kind of commercial of sorts. I was feeling slightly deliriously happy while I was cleaning! Was it the spring weather? Was it the almond scent?

All I know is that I wanted to clean MORE! I began thinking about all the wood furniture inside our house that I could clean. And how it would smell all almondy and such.

I started squirting more and more of this stuff on my rag and going over every square inch of the table. I got down DEEP into the cracks between the wood top slats. Then I turned it over and started with the legs and the underside of the top. My head was getting giddy now with the smell. I took the dirty disgusting looking rag inside to have John smell how wonderful it was. He sniffed. He agreed.

I was on a roll now. After finishing up the table, I started in on the buffet. By now John had come out to take a look and noticed how nice and shiny the table now looked. I exclaimed, "The next time we go to Target, we need to get MORE of this stuff!" He agreed.

As I was finishing up on the buffet, I thought whoever came up with this product, one that is eco-friendly, one that works beautifully, one that is very affordable, and one that works your olfactory senses into orgasm should be handed some kind of award.

The question is: what kind?

bewitched · 03-19-2009, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by second class citizen

and one that works your olfactory senses into orgasm should be handed some kind of award.

The question is: what kind?

I'm going to punt and say that Kevy has an answer.

Andrew · 03-19-2009, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by second class citizen

Anyone remember the old SNL "commercial" skit where the wife squirted some foamy product from a can onto the floor and started mopping while her husband grabbed the same can out of her hand and squirted some to top off his ice cream?

"Shimmer" from SNL ('76), brought to you by the brain-sucking aliens at Hulu.

Jazzman · 03-20-2009, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by second class citizen

I got down DEEP into the cracks between the wood top slats. Then I turned it over and started with the legs and the underside of the top. My head was getting giddy now with the smell. I took the dirty disgusting looking rag inside to have John smell how wonderful it was.

Wow, that just aroused the hell out of me... Congrats on creating a new fetish; Chore Porn!

03-19-2009, 03:49 PM	#1
second class citizen Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 135	Anyone remember the old SNL "commercial" skit where the wife squirted some foamy product from a can onto the floor and started mopping while her husband grabbed the same can out of her hand and squirted some to top off his ice cream? "It's a floor wax!" she said. "It's a desert topping!" he exclaimed. "It's BOTH!" the announcer boasts. "It's a floor wax AND a desert topping!" This scene came to mind today after John and I went to Target yesterday to buy some wood cleaner for our wood patio furniture. I wanted to get something to remove all the grim off the wood table and buffet before giving them a their fresh yearly coat of teak oil to help protect them from the elements. At Target in the Cleaning Products aisle I saw some Method Good for Wood. Reading the label, I saw that it was eco-friendly and smelled of almond. And it was cheap. So, today, being such a nice day outside, I armed myself with my newly acquired cleaning agent and some old tattered white washclothes to tackle the job at hand. I sprayed some of the liquid on the clean white cloth and immediately was taken back by the aroma. It was incredible! My stomach started gurgling and grumbling, thinking of the mixed nuts milkshake that I'd just recently had at the Land of Fruits and Nuts place on the Queen Mary (we went there last weekend to take advantage of their CA residents get in free deal). I guess the almond smell made me think of the nuts and caramel syrup, the lady had put in my shake. After wiping the clean almond scented soaked cloth once across the top of the table, I turned it over to inspect how much dirt it had taken off. There were jet black "finger" marks on the otherwise pristine white rag where it had picked up all the outdoor grime. The top was already looking shiny, luscrous and new. I was amazed! I instantly felt like I was in some bizarre kind of commercial of sorts. I was feeling slightly deliriously happy while I was cleaning! Was it the spring weather? Was it the almond scent? All I know is that I wanted to clean MORE! I began thinking about all the wood furniture inside our house that I could clean. And how it would smell all almondy and such. I started squirting more and more of this stuff on my rag and going over every square inch of the table. I got down DEEP into the cracks between the wood top slats. Then I turned it over and started with the legs and the underside of the top. My head was getting giddy now with the smell. I took the dirty disgusting looking rag inside to have John smell how wonderful it was. He sniffed. He agreed. I was on a roll now. After finishing up the table, I started in on the buffet. By now John had come out to take a look and noticed how nice and shiny the table now looked. I exclaimed, "The next time we go to Target, we need to get MORE of this stuff!" He agreed. As I was finishing up on the buffet, I thought whoever came up with this product, one that is eco-friendly, one that works beautifully, one that is very affordable, and one that works your olfactory senses into orgasm should be handed some kind of award. The question is: what kind? __________________ An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he, for some reason, thinks it would be a good idea to give them." - Andy Warhol
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