Angry days. Placid days. Days of withdrawal. A response to responsive behavior.

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

I guess, whatever way you react, it's completely about control. Furious Beast handles a disaster that is out of her hands by squeezing whatever's in her hands too tightly. Zen Master Quiet Man sees the chaos and declares that the only way to exert control is to control himself. And Crisis Hermit seeks to control how much of herself the world gets to see.

Unless you surrender control. And I dread the moment that Mom will do this. Maybe that's why my futile fight for Alpha Dog of my universe continues. I'm know that I'm death's bi tch, or life's, or god's or the amorphous entity's. I just like to pretend otherwise sometimes.

Bingo! Incredible insight! As someone who has gone through her own share of "BIG DEALS" in life, I can completely relate to your Sybil-like reactions. I have done the very same thing on more than one occasion. I've experienced the Furioius Beast, the Zen Master Quiet Man and the Crisis Hermit at least once during my various traumas. More recently, I've become the Zen Master Quiet Man in times of stress. I find that this is good for the time being, but the Furious Beast is left floundering and angry by the side of my brain.

I can only step back and say "Aren't all of these emotions wonderful? At least I know I'm alive."

Hang in there, my friend.