13 Books "No One" Has Read

[Alex]

Of course, since this is supposedly a list of books people most often lie about having read, this entire thread is immediately suspect.

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer - No,and no interest in doing so.
Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville - Yes, and I've read Volume 1 twice.
Ulysses by James Joyce - No.
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens - I find Dickens to be essentially unreadable. The very embodiment of the horror that is Victorian novels. And I've given him many chances since my favorite prof in college was a Dickens scholar and I wanted to be able to kiss his ass. But it wasn't worth the pain. However, A Christmas Carol is so short I was able to get through it.
The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie - No.
Moby Dick by Herman Melville - Significant parts but I've never made it to the end.
Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace - No, no interest based on other stuff of his I've read.
A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking - Yes.
Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust - No.
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco - No.
Don Quixote by Cervantes - I've read the first third about a dozen times and never make it farther. And since everything that popular culture knows about Don Quixote happens in that first third, I assume nobody else ever gets any farther either. But that part is pretty good.
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy - Yes. Crime and Punishment is perhaps the best novel of all time so I disagree with the comment above, but I did make it through War and Peace.
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner - No. Does anybody actually read any Faulkner any more?

[Alex]

Oh, while my skills are self-taught (having written many well graded papers through college on book and texts I'd never even opened) others may find this book helpful:

How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read by Pierre Bayard

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by DreadPirateRoberts

Call me Ishmael

Hi Ishmael

[Chernabog]

However, having a passing knowledge of the classics DOES make A Series of Unfortunate Events more enjoyable/funny.

[flippyshark]

Originally Posted by Chernabog

However, having a passing knowledge of the classics DOES make A Series of Unfortunate Events more enjoyable/funny.

I was awfully pleased with myself when I spotted a reference to Nabokov in one of those books.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Originally Posted by 3894

The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

Yes and somewhere in my basement I have an old lp of highlights read in the correct pronunciation. You're so attracted to that, aren't you.

Actually, I do like it! My boyfriend of the time and I were fascinated by the Old English pronunciations. I've read Canterbury Tales once in high school, and I'm partway through it again. I want a medieval, illuminated copy but so far I've only been able to find a few pages reproduced.

Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville

Never read it but I would be interested.

The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie

Interested. I think we have a copy around here somewhere. As I remember it, from paging through, it was kind of boring. From all the controversy, I expected more.

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

Definitely read this one! He's great! I have a few books of this theme on my shelves.

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco

Yep, read this one.

The one book I was assigned as a kid that I just couldn't finish was "Treasure Island" by Stevenson. Just could not stand it. Might be more palatable now, but then? Ugh. I'd read a lot of books, and it was a point of pride that I'd finished all of them, but this one killed me.

[Chernabog]

Originally Posted by alphabassettgrrl

The one book I was assigned as a kid that I just couldn't finish was "Treasure Island" by Stevenson. Just could not stand it. Might be more palatable now, but then? Ugh. I'd read a lot of books, and it was a point of pride that I'd finished all of them, but this one killed me.

I *still* cannot get through Treasure Island. I received a copy of the book as a kid, and have tried to read it at least 5 or 6 times (last time was within the last 3-4 years) I am always amazed that when I am about halfway through the book, how uninterested I am in the characters or the plot, and put it down.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Chernabog

I *still* cannot get through Treasure Island. I received a copy of the book as a kid, and have tried to read it at least 5 or 6 times (last time was within the last 3-4 years) I am always amazed that when I am about halfway through the book, how uninterested I am in the characters or the plot, and put it down.

This is my exact experience as well.

It's a bummer when classic adventure stories disappoint. Robinson Crusoe is another one. H.G. Wells never worked well for me either, though I did get through them. Whenever books, movies, etc refer to reading along with your favorite characters (the beginning of Neverending Story comes to mind, with the old man mentioning Treasure Island etal) I always think "but those stories are sooo boring!"

Perhaps in 100 years Harry Potter will seem boring too.

[flippyshark]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Perhaps in 100 years Harry Potter will seem boring too.

Heck, as much as I liked the series, there were stretches that taxed my patience already - the "Bickersons Go Camping" saga from Deathly Hallows jumps to mind.

I can picture some hapless student some decades from now. "I'm supposed to read how many pages?!?

[alphabassettgrrl]

Originally Posted by Chernabog

I *still* cannot get through Treasure Island. I received a copy of the book as a kid, and have tried to read it at least 5 or 6 times (last time was within the last 3-4 years) I am always amazed that when I am about halfway through the book, how uninterested I am in the characters or the plot, and put it down.

Oh, good, it's not just me. I had the same reaction (though I haven't tried to get through it lately), but I thought maybe a guy would appreciate it. I thought maybe I was too girly to "get" it.