The Gay Thread

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by Chernabog

Are you confusing being BULLIED for being gay versus just "being gay"? I mean, it's always slightly awkward when clients ask me if I'm married (granted, they're usually the elderly ones with no gaydar), but I just say no and shrug it off. I'm pretty confident in my sexuality so who gives a flying poobah. Plus, they aren't bullying me about it.

I was a nerd, geek, and slightly effeminate. Trust me, it was bullying. I was fortunate that I never had to deal with anyone who was a seriously sociopathic bully, but yes, my entire school existence was underscored by regular low-grade bullying, continually being derided for appearing "faggy" being among the many ugly things thrown my way.

I know swishy men who are straight but they're confident in their sexuality so it doesn't bug them what other people think.

I was a well adjusted kid with and relatively secure. I actually still remember clearly the day it struck me, "Wait a minute, how is it that you calling me gay is supposed to be an insult? If it's true, then you're just calling me what I am, so whatever. If it's not true, then I know it's not true, so who gives a crap?"

But you know what? Day in, day out knowing that, no matter what, there are people who are simply going to refuse to believe what you know to be true about your own identity sucks. It wears you down. And if JW is going to play the "you're not in my shoes card" then this is where I'm playing it. I don't care how secure in your sexuality (or any aspect of your personality) you are, years of being challenged on it is something I would wish on no one.

I'm not equating being misidentified as gay with actual homophobic hatred aimed at homosexuals. But arguing about that just brings to mind the people who dismiss the movement for gay rights with, "Get over it, you're not treated as badly as the slaves were." Again, tell Billy Lucas's parents that it's just "a little annoying".

Obviously the people who are angry at Shervill for what he said and are decrying him as a "closet case" are not doing so in the same spirit as kids who call slightly mincing boys "fags". But while the precise spirit is different, there is still an undercurrent of judgment and derision. "Closet case" is hardly a term of endearment. No, you're not saying he's bad or more worthy of ridicule for being gay. But you ARE saying he's bad or more worthy of ridicule for hiding the "fact" that he's gay. And it strikes me as hypocritical to simultaneously see all of the anti gay-bullying fervor combined with what I see as a mirror image use of sexuality and personal identity to shame someone.

Which is all far more in depth than this all deserves, and more thought I cared to apply to the a*hole, but the questions were posed.

[Chernabog]

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

And it strikes me as hypocritical to simultaneously see all of the anti gay-bullying fervor combined with what I see as a mirror image use of sexuality and personal identity to shame someone.

I don't see it that way. They aren't being shamed BECAUSE they are gay, but because their actions are..... ironic. (Don'tcha think?) When George Rekers, Larry Craig, Ted Haggard, etc. are rallying against homos with every fiber of their being while having their "luggage lifted" by teenage twinks on their off-time, they SHOULD be shamed for being closet cases.

It is what they DO that is hypocritical, lying, ironic, whatever. Not what they ARE.