Feeling goofy - post your favorite lame jokes here

[TigerLily]

A woman brought a very limp duck to a vet, so he took out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment the vet shook his head, "I'm so sorry, but your duck is dead."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure, the duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested, "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him. Maybe he's in a coma or something."

The vet left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. Then, with sad eyes, he looked at the vet and shook his head.

The vet went out again and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed at the bird. Then it meowed softly, shook its head, and strolled out of the room.



The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this duck is definitely dead." Then he turned to his computer, hit a few keys and produced a bill.



"$1,500!" she cried, "just to tell me my duck is dead?"

"I'm sorry", the vet replied. "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan........"