Societal norms, the Moral Majority and a rant that feels so good

[Capt Jack]

Originally Posted by wendybeth

Perhaps the reason why we see so few examples of correct judging is that the only correct way to do so is to refrain from doing so.


Did that make any sense?

yup. while Im not terribly religious, there is one quote Ive learned to live by

"Judge not, lest ye be judged"

Most who do judge others with abandon are loathe to have the mirror held up to them as they're afraid of what they'll see. Its just sooo much easier to cast judgement on someone else than to look at ones self objectively and critique self first, others second. A great many people I think simply cant. Others wont.

still others have no clue what Im talking about.
I think Im in that last group.

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by Capt Jack

"Judge not, lest ye be judged"

Most who do judge others with abandon are loathe to have the mirror held up to them as they're afraid of what they'll see. Its just sooo much easier to cast judgement on someone else than to look at ones self objectively and critique self first, others second. A great many people I think simply cant. Others wont.

Actually, for the most part, I usually am harshest on those how are going in the same bad route I traveled once. I've looked in the mirror, was horrified of what I saw and changed my ways. It hurts to see others I care about taking the same distructive path. And, sometimes, I simply don't want to be a witness to something I can't do anything about.

As for as other people judging me, once in a while they are spot-on and I thank them for pointing those things out. Other times, eh, they're just delusional.

[SacTown Chronic]

Alex nailed it with his comment about society judging people's private lives instead of their public lives. By all means judge me by my contribution, or lack thereof, to society. But stay the hell out of my bedroom (unless you've been invited).

My anger stemmed from Crystal's pain -- I'm simple, and overly protective, that way. She's hurt because a so-called friend decided to focus on the one detail that is none of her business while ignoring all the wonderful things that make Crystal, well, Crystal. And the friend telling Crystal that our children will no longer be socializing with her children because of Crystal's sexual orientation was the cherry on a very bitter sundae.

But, my swanky friends, venting here was just what the doctor ordered, Praise Allah. My anger has been replaced with sadness. And the sadness is starting to fade. As Kevin said, mayhap this person is not the kind of friend Crystal needs.

[scaeagles]

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

But, my swanky friends, venting here was just what the doctor ordered, Praise Allah.

Sac, I've been meaning to tell you that Islam is not the way......

[SacTown Chronic]

Mohammed The Prophet told me you'd say that, scaeagles.

[MickeyLumbo]

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

But stay the hell out of my bedroom (unless you've been invited).

RSVP is in the mail.

[innerSpaceman]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

I usually am harshest on those how are going in the same bad route I traveled once.

Yep, woe be those who have the misfortune to simply err on the same side that I once erred, and I will judge them with more harshness than I will other errs that be not mine.

This is one prime example of why judgmentalism is BAD. How often are we really judging ourselves and not the purported external objects of our judgment? I don't happen to agree with what Alex says about the necessity of judgment. Perhaps he means simply the necessity of analysis and determination. There's a fine line between such opinion-forming/decision-making and judgmentalism.

I'm not particularly good at staying on the better side of that line, but I wish I were (and so, haha, I will judge you to be pure evil if you happen to also err on the judgy side of the line!).

[Alex]

I have no idea what you mean by "opinion-forming/decision-making" at least not if it is somehow distinct from judgment.

I am of the opinion that children should not be allowed to play at the home of a crack addict, even if there is no sign that the crack addict has never put children at risk.

But really, that is just a judgment of a behavior. So, how is opinion-forming distinct from judgment?

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

This is one prime example of why judgmentalism is BAD. How often are we really judging ourselves and not the purported external objects of our judgment?

Well, I think we are judging others in that situation. I may have done something stupid in the past. I now know it is stupid. I can define it as stupid. If someone is doing the same thing, they are stupid because they are doing the same act that I now think is stupid based on experience.

I guess it is one of the benefits of age. You can see others doing stupid things and say - damn, I've done that and boy was I stupid. It usually makes me glad I'm older and wiser.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

Well, I think we are judging others in that situation. I may have done something stupid in the past. I now know it is stupid. I can define it as stupid. If someone is doing the same thing, they are stupid because they are doing the same act that I now think is stupid based on experience.

I guess it is one of the benefits of age. You can see others doing stupid things and say - damn, I've done that and boy was I stupid. It usually makes me glad I'm older and wiser.

I know that saying now that I won't judge others as "stupid" for doing something that comes naturally to a person of a certain age is just as naive as when I promised myself I'd never forget what it was like to be 6 years old. But still, I wouldn't call the judgemental condescending attitude that creeps up on us a "benefit of age".

I'm going to try to allow people to have their own growing pains and not judge a 20 year old by a 40 year old's standards. I don't tell my teenage brothers that they're stupid because they don't have the judgement that I have. It's absurd. It's one thing to try teach others the lessons you've learned, but it's another to call them stupid because they haven't gotten there yet.