Societal norms, the Moral Majority and a rant that feels so good

[Prudence]

You know, I was trying to think of my list of 5 ways in which people judge me and I couldn't make a list. With one exception (even I can figure out what it means when frat boys "moo" at me from a passing car) I really have no idea what people think of me. I'm pretty damn good at helping other people with their interpersonal skills and situations, but I have no idea how I fit into the universe. Thus, when I find myself in a situation similar to Crystal's -- where someone attacks some facet of my personality as subhuman and malignant -- it feels like it has come from nowhere, with no warning, and the blow is that much harder. If I'd *known* that they felt that way, or that I was perceived that way, I would have some sort of mental armor in place to blunt the attack. Thus, a lot of the stuff on my "judging" list (not taking my husband's name, going to school instead of popping out babies) doesn't even really register for me. I'm prepared for society to think I'm acting inappropriately. Just my random thought of the morning.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Originally Posted by Prudence

I'm prepared for society to think I'm acting inappropriately.

Beautiful. Exactly. I am the same way.

[tracilicious]

Q

Originally Posted by Prudence

Thus, a lot of the stuff on my "judging" list (not taking my husband's name, going to school instead of popping out babies) doesn't even really register for me.

There are also quite a few people who will judge you for doing the opposite. Having babies, choosing to stay home and raise them instead of pursuing a career (right now), etc. Your phrases "wifey-poo" and "popping out babies" are demonstrative of just that. The instant most people find out I'm a stay at home mom they treat me like I have the IQ of a fourth grader. Or else I get borderline insults. Doesn't bother me. I'm secure with my choices.

[jdramj]

Originally Posted by tracilicious

Q


There are also quite a few people who will judge you for doing the opposite. Having babies, choosing to stay home and raise them instead of pursuing a career (right now), etc. Your phrases "wifey-poo" and "popping out babies" are demonstrative of just that. The instant most people find out I'm a stay at home mom they treat me like I have the IQ of a fourth grader. Or else I get borderline insults. Doesn't bother me. I'm secure with my choices.

I have to admitt that I am not that comfortable in my "stay at home mommy" skin. I put on a good show...you know, fake it till you make it. I gave up over 10 years in management and decided to work part time for the same company, to keep a little income flowing. (All this to stay home with 3 kids and then find out later the same week as I stepped down that I was pregnant with a 4th kid....surprise...surprise!) Well when new co-workers find out that I used to be 2nd in charge of the store, I am often asked what happened, as though I did something wrong. The reality was my kids needed me more than my company needed me. I am not over this yet, it was a hard thing to do, and it would fall on my list of judgements on me.

I have the same problem with people assuming I am stupid, especially being older than my co-workers and in customer service. Man, customers can be so snobish. This I do have a handle on this, espcially when I probably make more money that half of them anyways. I make more money per hour than almost 3 of my co-workers hourly wages combined, gotta love 15 years with the company.

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by Prudence

(even I can figure out what it means when frat boys "moo" at me from a passing car)

They're "mooing" at you, they're saying "Yoooouuuu are hot." It's just hard heaing that last part.