people demanding invitations?

€uroMeinke · 02-03-2006, 06:25 PM

It's situational - sometimes you just can't accomodate another person. Weddings can have a huge per person cost sometimes, but even dinner reservations can create trouble if you "just add one more." I think those times it's easy to decline the request for invitation.

Other times, the person is just too annoying to accomodate for whatever reason. That's a bit more difficult if you have mutual friends and such. Often this is a huge source of Drama that begins somewhere when your a kid and someone has a birthday party. The Big thing to do, of course is invite everybody and let them self select about whether or not they go - I've found this is often the best solution.

Still there are those people you'd rather not deal with. I think the Miss Manners approach to put this off, is a simple, "I'm sorry but we can't accomodate you this time." Offer explanation or excuse - as that's a "problem" someone might try to solve. so just you may have to learn to say no in several different ways.

Alex · 02-03-2006, 07:16 PM

I'm big on "just because you're part of my life doesn't mean you're part of all my life" and have never succumbed to pressure to invite people to things where I didn't want them. And conversely never really get upset if I'm not invited to something.

If they came begging I'd tell them no, just to teach them the lesson. Unless it really was an oversight and then I'd still tell them no because they won't learn otherwise.

02-03-2006, 06:25 PM	#1
€uroMeinke L'Hédoniste Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: A.S.C.O.T. Posts: 8,671	It's situational - sometimes you just can't accomodate another person. Weddings can have a huge per person cost sometimes, but even dinner reservations can create trouble if you "just add one more." I think those times it's easy to decline the request for invitation. Other times, the person is just too annoying to accomodate for whatever reason. That's a bit more difficult if you have mutual friends and such. Often this is a huge source of Drama that begins somewhere when your a kid and someone has a birthday party. The Big thing to do, of course is invite everybody and let them self select about whether or not they go - I've found this is often the best solution. Still there are those people you'd rather not deal with. I think the Miss Manners approach to put this off, is a simple, "I'm sorry but we can't accomodate you this time." Offer explanation or excuse - as that's a "problem" someone might try to solve. so just you may have to learn to say no in several different ways. __________________ I would believe only in a God that knows how to Dance. Friedrich Nietzsche
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02-03-2006, 07:16 PM	#2
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	I'm big on "just because you're part of my life doesn't mean you're part of all my life" and have never succumbed to pressure to invite people to things where I didn't want them. And conversely never really get upset if I'm not invited to something. If they came begging I'd tell them no, just to teach them the lesson. Unless it really was an oversight and then I'd still tell them no because they won't learn otherwise.
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