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Old 08-04-2006, 04:08 PM   #21
Capt Jack
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I kinda miss having someone 'ask' me to do things. left to my own devices, I seriously maintain the activity level of a boat anchor.

yeah yeah, Im workin on it.
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Old 08-04-2006, 04:23 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tracilicious
First of all, asking the question is just a courtesy. Like I'm making Michael feel like he has a choice on whether or not to do the dishes.
I suppose it isn't fair, but it isn't uncommon for me to say something like "stop talking like a woman, just tell me what you want."

This also comes up when she wants to do something but rather than saying what she wants to do she asks me what I want to do in the hopes that I'll say what she wants to do. Because she doesn't want to sound bossy.

Just sound bossy. 95% of the time I'll be fine with it and the other 5% we'll talk about it and come to an amicable agreement.

There was a story on This American Life about a guy who's father was really weird and left the family when he was young and was looking for aliens and all that. Anyway, the father was shacked up with a new woman many years later and said they'd developed a way to avoid all arguments. Whenever they were debating options they'd each say "I feel X about that" where X was a number between 1 and 10. Whoever said the highest number got their way.

We've never really done it on anything important but since hearing that story we'll have a conversation like this:

"I want Japanese for dinner."
"Well, I'd prefer Mexican."
"I feel 4 about having Japanese for dinner."
"I feel 7."

And then we go have Mexican. It actually works pretty well but requires both sides to actually admit what they want and evaluate its relative importance.
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Old 08-04-2006, 04:24 PM   #23
Nephythys
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Originally Posted by mousepod
oooh... I really want to participate in the derailed part of this thread, but as a married guy, I'll bet my feelings will be pretty predictable.

But on the OT... how come F comes before E in the alphabet?

Some adorable people might be incorrectly assuming they're good kissers...

heh- for the record I copied this from another site- so I claim no responsibility for the creative order LOL
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Old 08-04-2006, 04:31 PM   #24
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I have no idea what all of you people are discussing, but I have a fine ass, so who cares?
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Old 08-04-2006, 05:27 PM   #25
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Old 08-05-2006, 12:44 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Stroup
I suppose it isn't fair, but it isn't uncommon for me to say something like "stop talking like a woman, just tell me what you want."

This also comes up when she wants to do something but rather than saying what she wants to do she asks me what I want to do in the hopes that I'll say what she wants to do. Because she doesn't want to sound bossy.

Just sound bossy. 95% of the time I'll be fine with it and the other 5% we'll talk about it and come to an amicable agreement.

The sounding bossy thing is really hard to get over though. Especially when I have a really strong personality and Michael has a very easy going personality. I feel obligated to at least phrase my sentences in a way that gives him some sort of an out.

I'm sure that's no consolation to him in the exact situation you described above. Here's a typical conversation:

Me: What do you want to watch tonight?
Him: I don't care, anything you want to watch is fine.
Me: I could watch either Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars.
Him: Ok, lets watch Harry Potter.
Me (in a disappointed tone): oh, ok.
Him: Well what did you want to watch?
Me: Star Wars
Him: If you knew what movie you wanted to watch why didn't you just say that in the beginning?!!!
Me: I wanted you to be happy too.
Him: I said I didn't care! Just tell me what you want to watch! I. don't. care.

I suppose the puzzling part to me is that he really doesn't care. When I say I don't care, what I usually mean is tell me what you want to watch and then I'll tell you what I want to watch and hopefully you'll agree.

I don't know why word choice is so important. It drives me nuts when he comes up and asks my permission to buy something. What am I? Your mom? He does it because he generally has no clue how much money we have or where it all goes. Yet somehow, "Can I buy this book?" is remarkably different from, "Is there money in the budget for me to buy this book?" Even though, essentially, they are the same question.

Go figure.
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Old 08-05-2006, 10:43 AM   #27
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My first name is Christian, I think it's meaning is obvious enough to skip the explanation. Considering my current relgius leanings, I've learned to love the irony in my appelation. However, my parents also were not terrribly religious, so really the intended meaning of my name was to be in honor of my Grandfather, whose Memonite origins made Chrisitan a typical moniker in the family.

My current screen name is a play on my last screen name cemeinke and the desire to make things comples by using a symbol, namely the € symbol. The homage to my Europhilia is actually secondary, and a cause for some embarrasment with me when I do encounter true Eurpoeans - after w hat would youthink of someone who went by $teve?
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Old 08-05-2006, 02:26 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tracilicious
I suppose the puzzling part to me is that he really doesn't care. When I say I don't care, what I usually mean is tell me what you want to watch and then I'll tell you what I want to watch and hopefully you'll agree.

I don't know why word choice is so important.
This is why word choice is so important. If you care, why say you don't care? "I don't care" really ought to mean "I don't care."
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Old 08-05-2006, 05:54 PM   #29
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Robert means "Bright and shining with fame"

...but the other things listed above are true too !
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Old 08-08-2006, 08:37 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lashbear
Robert means "Bright and shining with fame"
I just go by "Bob".

It's what I do when I'm in water. Fits nicely, don't you think?
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