Religious Freedom

[Strangler Lewis]

Originally Posted by wendybeth

The lack of holiday/birthday celebrating kind of narrowed the field for me, but I could be wrong as to the one I guessed.

That occurred to me as well, but it could also have been the church of the big firm lawyer.

[wendybeth]

You guessed Puritan, too?

Seriously, though- I know, as do many others here, just how stressful the decision can be. While it's freeing, it's not without a price. I will never understand how anyone could turn their back to a loved one just because they aren't involved in the same religious organisation. You may be surprised by how many others feel the same way, Traci- maybe you won't get the reaction you expect from some of your family and friends. It's entirely possible that some of them are wrestling with the same or similar issues.

[Gemini Cricket]

I say snake-handling!

[tracilicious]

Thanks all.

Originally Posted by Snowflake

To those who call you a friend and then rescind their friendship based on your status with any church are not your real friends. Wave them goodbye and wish them well and go forward to find new friends, you will find many on this planet I am sure!

No, they really are good people. They've just been trained to believe that you can't associate with people who have "abandoned God." I have no doubt that if/when they do find out that they will be very hurt.

Originally Posted by Strangler Lewis

Congratulations, and very brave! Do you want to spill on what group, so we can close the door extra hard when they come knocking?

Not really. I bear no ill will towards any members. I met many good people throughout my life as a member. As Rstar put it, it was the legalism that turned me off of it, not most of the people.

[Alex]

Tracilicious, I disassociated myself when I was 14 and it was pretty stressful. And it is hard because for the most part they are all wonderful people and completely earnest in what they believe and what they believe really isn't all that bad. And while I understand why non-believers find them annoying I also understand why they do what they do anyway and it really is an act of love and compassion for them.

But I quickly learned that religion and an inner certainty that in all likelihood god doesn't exist were hard to reconcile. But it was still a tough thing for a 14-year-old to stand up to his congregations elder and explain that I was pretty sure they (and all religious people) were sharing in a mass delusion.

So, to say it all backhanded, while I think your beliefs are equally silly as what you were raised with, I am glad you have come to terms with how you want to live your live and that is the important thing.

But don't start celebrating your birthday, that is just silliness that should be trimmed from polite society.

[Alex]

Oh, and while it certainly changed my relationships I found that hardly anybody took the hardest line interpretation of not associating with the lapsed.

Hopefully you'll find that to be true as well, particularly within the family (but I know that is something that seems to vary a lot from region to region).

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

Tracilicious, I disassociated myself when I was 14 and it was pretty stressful.

Wow, leaving at such a young age must have been really difficult. You've got a backbone, that's for sure.

And it is hard because for the most part they are all wonderful people and completely earnest in what they believe and what they believe really isn't all that bad. And while I understand why non-believers find them annoying I also understand why they do what they do anyway and it really is an act of love and compassion for them.

Agreed. This also makes it impossible for any of them to understand the mentallity of someone that leaves.

But I quickly learned that religion and an inner certainty that in all likelihood god doesn't exist were hard to reconcile. But it was still a tough thing for a 14-year-old to stand up to his congregations elder and explain that I was pretty sure they (and all religious people) were sharing in a mass delusion.

See above comment about backbone. I'm lucky in that we have very few ties left to any members. Only immediate family and two friends that live out of state.

So, to say it all backhanded, while I think your beliefs are equally silly as what you were raised with, I am glad you have come to terms with how you want to live your live and that is the important thing.

Lol, I'm glad that you squeezed in some classic Alex Stroup. I'm not 110% sure in my newfound beliefs yet, but to me they are quite a bit less silly. I no longer believe one group has all the answers about the bible, or even that the bible is completely true. I tried being Atheist for a short while, but it was so depressing.

But don't start celebrating your birthday, that is just silliness that should be trimmed from polite society.

There's hardly a holiday in existence that isn't about getting presents or eating food. Birthdays are no different. I could frankly care less about my own though. Michael is terrible at presents anyways and our anniversary is two days later. I am happy that we'll be able to celebrate the kids' birthdays, as I think it was getting difficult for Indi knowing that all his friends do it and not understanding why he didn't.

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

Oh, and while it certainly changed my relationships I found that hardly anybody took the hardest line interpretation of not associating with the lapsed.

Hopefully you'll find that to be true as well, particularly within the family (but I know that is something that seems to vary a lot from region to region).

I doubt that any family will cut us off. On my side only two of my sisters and my parents are still members. My other sister and two brothers already left. My mom will understand, my sisters won't but they will still talk to me. It will be a long time before I'm honest with my dad and his wife. I would hate for it to get back to my 87 year old grandfather who's been serving his entire life. None of Michael's five siblings are, which is actually one of the reasons why we'll just gradually let his mom see that we don't plan on returning. I think she had high hopes that one of her children would come back to the religion.

I have seen many people cut off family for leaving though. My older brother was one of them. I often wonder how different his life would have been if he had been shown compassion and sent to rehab rather than being kicked out of the house at 17.

Regardless, such a decision seems to be a mixed blessing. I feel somewhat as though I've carved a huge chunk of my own flesh off. It may have been infected flesh, but I still have religious ghost limb syndrome.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by wendybeth

You guessed Puritan, too?

Well, it's been tough living without electricity and cars and such, but at least religious officials won't be able to call me!

Seriously, though- I know, as do many others here, just how stressful the decision can be. While it's freeing, it's not without a price. I will never understand how anyone could turn their back to a loved one just because they aren't involved in the same religious organisation. You may be surprised by how many others feel the same way, Traci- maybe you won't get the reaction you expect from some of your family and friends. It's entirely possible that some of them are wrestling with the same or similar issues.

I don't quite understand either. But these people literally associate with practically no one outside the faith. So relatives or friends that leave have just crossed over to the side of people that they don't hang out with. In most cases it's a very difficult thing for them to go through. They're just doing what they are taught is right. In regards to our two friends though, the wife just severed ties with her best friend of a decade or more for leaving, so not much hope there.

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by tracilicious

I'm not 110% sure in my newfound beliefs yet, but to me they are quite a bit less silly. I no longer believe one group has all the answers about the bible, or even that the bible is completely true. I tried being Atheist for a short while, but it was so depressing.

For me, developing my own beliefs was something that happened over time and through experiences, continued to change. The more I learn and experience in life, the more I "tweak" what I believe. To be cliché - it has been- and continues to be - a journey, not a destination,