WTF Stories of the Week

[Betty]

Originally Posted by JWBear

Sexual orientation is always "in play". As one of the comments said, would someone with the handle "ladiesman" get banned? It's an expression of sexual orientation. I'm tired of straight people who think it's ok to project their sexual orientation any time, and in any way they feel; but tell us we can not.

Why is a straight man talking about his wife or girlfriend is considered normal, but a gay man talking about his husband or boyfriend is considered "flaunting his sexuality"? Double standards, anyone?.

Why would you assume that she was in XboxLive for sex just because she identified herself as lesbian? Personaly, I find that implication to be very insulting. Someone identifying themselves as lesbian or gay does not automaticaly mean they are there for sex; no more than if someone identifies themself as straight.

No offense was meant...

Perhaps it's a personal thing to me and I project that a bit? My sexual orientation isn't something I go around proclaiming... when it does come up I think "sex"? I dunno. That's how it initially struck me though. That may have to do with me being old and married? (and yeah - I see the irony of that statement when so many people aren't allowed to be married to the one they love.)

Just excuses on my part?

You're right though - and it shouldn't be an issue. If they allow womanizer or ladiesman then they should allow other references to whatever orientation. They certainly shouldn't allow the harrassment by other players because of their orientation... Their poor gaming skillz though are another matter. Would they allow womanizer for a man and not for a woman?

And again - no offense was meant. I know it's a touchy subject and I should have thought my post through more carefully before I hit submit.

[JWBear]

Originally Posted by Betty

My sexual orientation isn't something I go around proclaiming...

So, you never mention your husband to anyone? Your marriage is never brought up in conversation? You and your husband never hold hands, or hug, or kiss in public? Legal documents you've signed list him as a "roommate" or "friend"? You've never done or said anything that would indicate you are straight?

If you answered "no" to any of those, then you have proclaimed your sexual orientation. In fact, I'll wager that you do so many times a day.

[Moonliner]

Define: Mentioned
A speaking or notice of anything, usually in a brief or cursory manner. Used especially in the phrase to make mention of.


Define: Proclaimed
To excitedly, verbosely and candidly describe

I don't think Betty proclaims her sexuality on a regular basis. Nor do I think the X-Box gal proclaimed hers.

[JWBear]

Semantic pedantry is what one falls back on when one has no valid argument.

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by JWBear

Semantic pedantry is what one falls back on when one has no valid argument.

Or abuses when trying to make a point irregardless of the facts.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by JWBear

Semantic pedantry is what one falls back on when one has no valid argument.

Geez. First off, she apologized and conceded your point, not sure why you're piling on.

Secondly, it's not "semantic pedantry." There is a big difference between, "I went to dinner with my wife last night," and, "Hey everyone, I prefer f*cking pussy to sucking dick!"

The question is, where on that spectrum does "Hey, I'm a lesbian" fall? I don't think it's particularly strong of a declaration. I wouldn't expect "I'm straight" to raise anyone's eyebrows, so I do consider XBox's actions out of line.

[JWBear]

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

Geez. First off, she apologized and conceded your point, not sure why you're piling on.

Secondly, it's not "semantic pedantry." There is a big difference between, "I went to dinner with my wife last night," and, "Hey everyone, I prefer f*cking pussy to sucking dick!"

The question is, where on that spectrum does "Hey, I'm a lesbian" fall? I don't think it's particularly strong of a declaration. I wouldn't expect "I'm straight" to raise anyone's eyebrows, so I do consider XBox's actions out of line.

My second post was in response to Moonliner, not Betty.

And while she did apologize, I think she (and others) missed the point. "Proclaiming", "flaunting", "mentioning", (whatever) your sexual orientation is not something only gays and lesbians do. Straights do it also. Just because heterosexuality is considered "normal" by society does not mean that straights do not constantly, and in thousands of little ways, display it. I get tired of the double standard that a straight person can bring up their sexuality any time they want, and no one bats an eye; but if I or my fellow homosexuals do, we are told it's "inappropriate" or that we are "flaunting" it, or "shoving it down normal peoples throats".

[Strangler Lewis]

I don't know what X-Box live is, but I get the sense that all the gays should be kicked off.

Then, when all the straights are kicked off, the world will be a better place.

[Ghoulish Delight]

I don't disagree with your view.

But to play a bit of devils advocate for a moment, because heterosexuality is the overwhelming majority, gays do end up having to be more overt about their "declarations" of their sexuality. If a straight man is hanging out in a typical bar, hoping to perhaps meet a prospective dating partner, they don't need to do anything in particular to attract the attention of said prospective partners. Whereas a homosexual man is likely to do something "out of the ordinary" to actively identify themselves as homosexual to be noticeable to their set of prospective targets.

People are assumed hetero by default, if someone wants to be quickly recognized as homosexual, it's going to take some sort of overt display.

This is just the reality of the fact that you're only about 10% of the population. It's a necessity of the circumstances.

The divergence comes with those that decide that ANY such display is de facto "wrong" and "inappropriate". I disagree with that assessment, obviously. But knowing human behavior, and the fact that we are generally hardwired to distrust things that are out of the ordinary, it's not a particularly surprising result that a large number of people have a negative reaction. The hope would be that bringing continued attention to the inequity will eventually raise the public conscience to the fact that it's not "inappropriate", even if it is conspicuous. But I do understand, when heterosexuality is the default, and part of the background noise, people have difficulty recognizing that overt "declarations" of homosexuality aren't done out of a desire to be inappropriate.

Afterall, wouldn't people look at someone who walks around saying, "Hi, I'm straight" pretty funny?

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by Moonliner

Define: Mentioned
A speaking or notice of anything, usually in a brief or cursory manner. Used especially in the phrase to make mention of.

Define: Proclaimed
To excitedly, verbosely and candidly describe

I don't think Betty proclaims her sexuality on a regular basis. Nor do I think the X-Box gal proclaimed hers.

Originally Posted by JWBear

Semantic pedantry is what one falls back on when one has no valid argument.

Originally Posted by Moonliner

Or abuses when trying to make a point irregardless of the facts.

Okay, I almost didn't post this because it such a "me too" post, but I gotta chime in that I am with Moonie on this one.

And GD's follow-up as well.