Body Image...

[Prudence]

I have always hated nearly everything about the way I look. Ever since I can remember I've hated everything except my feet. I think my feet look rather nice. But other than that, I've hated my appearance as long as I can remember. I've been told how ugly I am since I was in pre-school. And now - I've given up. I don't bother with makeup any more because - why bother? Lipstick and the pig and all that.

I'm basically okay with it - there has to be ugly for beauty to be appreciated. And absent some giant windfall and a loss of fear of surgery, I don't see that changing. But, I'm working on not letting it define my worth. The *only* reason it bugs me now is because ugly women aren't employable (while ugly men are obviously smart, apparently, to make up for their appearance, ugly women are just useless.)

Oh, and I do have particularly attractive labia. Didn't realize that until much later in life, but they're very attractive, according to modern porn standards.

[madmonkeygirl]

Well i've always struggled with this from day one. My sister is 10 years younger than me and growing up i'd hear all the compliments she'd get and how pretty she was and it just made me have less and less self esteem. I couldn't compete or compare. Her body is different than mine. But that's when i decided that i wanted to change and i did. And for a time i was happy that i could fit into a small size and didn't have a problem with clothes. But then i let myself go again and now i am struggling to get back to my former weight when i was in my 20's. Growing up my brother used to call me "thunder thighs" it hurt and it did make an impact on me negatively in fact. But my weight was hiding an underlying issue i had struggled with since age 5. (for those who know great those who don't i do not feel like rehashing it all). But i really think that had alot to do with it To make myself unattractive was my way of dealing with it.

CP the only jeans i ever have luck in wearing are from Old Navy btw. Those are the only ones that seem to fit right. I don't bother looking for jeans anyplace else. Same with work clothes.

This year 2008 i decided to do something about my body image once and for all. I'm on week 5 and my work pants are so big i am gonna need a smaller size (1 size down) and my one pair of jeans i could not get into i can now slip on and zip and button up.

I used to hate my nose but Matt loves it and i have grown to love it. And my mom has said the same thing to me. There will always be something i don't like about my body (thighs most likely).

Oh about breast implants i was a slow bloomer and thank goodness i never got implants but my sister decided when she was 18 to get implants and we are the same size just about. She didn't want to wait. But that was her choice.

[wendybeth]

Well, this is a timely thread. Let's just say I've spent the last week trying to find a semi-formal outfit, and it's been a demoralizing effort. My boobs are too big for many of the styles that are out there now, and like most people I like the clothing styles that look better on my polar opposite body style. (Tall and skinny). I'm an average height and I would be so stylin' if I lived in the 1800's. (Anyone who's met me irl can attest to how pale I am, and I had curves in the 4th grade). Even when I was in my anorexic phase I had curves. My sis Bobbi was tall, thin and streamlined- she could wear anything and it looked awesome. She complained about having smaller boobs than me, but I wanted to look just like her. Is there ever a time in our lives when we get to just like who we are and what we look like? I've yet to hit it, whatever and whenever it may be.

[3894]

Words of wisdom from The Lovely Mrs. tod at MousePad:

"Stand up straight and carry yourself with pride. Open up your mind, learn new things. Help those in need, be as generous as you can. Treat people with respect and kindness. Smile often, laugh frequently, reach out and touch your fellow man. Think more about those you love than you think about yourself. Worry less about the firmness of your backside and more about the softness of your countenance.You'll be better than 'remotely attractive.' You'll be absolutely beautiful."

[Drince88]

There are times I go through huge body image issues - and other times, I really 'accept' where I am and can look in the mirror (clothed) and say "Dang, I look hot". I doubt I'll ever say that looking in the mirror naked, but that's ok - I've given up on men and have no attraction to women, so it's likely nobody will ever see me naked 'on purpose'. Heck, my stomach has not seen light of day since puberty (literally) - and I'm ok with that - I've learned what sort of one-piece swimsuits I can buy that accentuate my positive.

I was generally happier when I was at my goal weight - and I've been trying (but not doing so much) to get back there. And I get frustrated as heck when I have to go pants shopping. I've just about given up shopping for dresses - too many different sizes going on.

And unlike Prudence, I don't think I'll ever like my feet - 10W, even on a 5'10" body, is not a pretty size!

Jenny, you have every right to join in on these sorts of conversations. Yes, some women will think/say "Oh, to have your issues" But dang it, just because they'd like to have your issues - doesn't mean they aren't valid issues to have (in the demented world that is just about every woman's issues with body image)

I'd really like to see a world where everyone DOES hold their head high and accept their body as it is and don't have body image issues (in public and in the privacy of their own minds) - but I'd also like to see world peace, and an end to poverty and hunger.

[blueerica]

Hey, maybe if women had better body images, we'd be out there fixing the whole world peace, poverty and hunger thing. You never know...

This morning I woke up thinking I'd regret the beer (yeah, drinking beer while watching a TV show on self esteem - I don't know if that speaks highly for my esteem, or lowly) and posting this so publicly. But before coming to the computer, I brushed my teeth, pulled up my shirt and looked at where my natural waistline is. It's there; not a big curve, but there. I guess I'm not as rectangular as I thought.

I do like my hair, most of the time, well, except for the gray that keeps coming through and doesn't really want to go-way-already. I also like my eyes, especially the color, that unfortunately have my family's dark under-eye circles. I can have the best sleep in the world, and if I'm out through the day or working somewhere, I guarantee one person will say "You look so tired..." Well, I am... tired of everyone telling me I look tired! I like my smile. I have great teeth.


And you know, I like that my feet are veiny, but that has more to do with my being easily amused.

MMG - I've also heard thunder thighs before. I was pretty lucky that I didn't really have them when I was younger, but I think the term, and how everyone else was viewed affected the way I would later view myself. Constant reminders from my grandma that I better hit the gym after eating that one cookie she just baked didn't help either.

Today, I'm treating myself to breakfast. I'm going to relax, read, and try to feel good about myself and who I am... knowing I have such fantastic women at my side here.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Oh, I forgot one more obstacle I'm working on lately:

My feet don't fit normal shoes, they're too wide. Yes, I've shopped Payless in the past, but I finally decided I need to get better quality footwear. I went to Nordstroms but they didn't have the styles I want. So now I'm on Zappos. I just sent back a pair of wides so I could get a pair of double wides. Yeech. Even having to admit to the Zappos customer service phone line that I need double wides made me wince. On the other hand, I can't wait for them to show up, not only because they may actually fit, but because they're a size 8. I've been buying 8.5 and 9 for years to accomodate the wideness and they never fit right, duh. I'm willing to bet that even if they are double wide, they will look less like boats than my older pairs.

That's the thing - you have to accept your shortcomings to shop right, but once you do, the clothes you buy will actually fit and make you look better!

[blueerica]

Funny shoes should be coming up. I have an average width for part of my foot, yet a skinny heel. Makes non-strappy shoes flip up and down when I walk. Bleh.

I do tend to do better with Steve Madden shoes, and the other day I bought a pair of 2" pumps that miraculously don't flip up and down, at least not that I can tell yet. Huzzah!

[cirquelover]

This is a very timely topic indeed! As I grow older I find I am less happy with myself, in all ways.

I am trying to improve my physical self because the cellulite seems to be popping up where it wasn't before. It could also be I was ignoring it before!! The extra pounds really help accentuate the problem areas though!

My hair has been greying like crazy for the last few years. Zach and I even dies my hair last year because he said it was getting grey. This morning I go to show Gary CP's thread on Obama and he says " Oh my hunny, I'm so sorry!" as he starts pawing through my hair and yanking a few more white ones! It's also thinning alot, which really has me concerned. I have very straight,thin hair to begin with and every time I lose a bunch I freak out a little more.

I think the piece de resistance is I'm feeling stupid some days. I look back at my postings yesterday and can SEE that I can't spell and some days I come off looking very disjointed or scattered. I don't want to become my Mother!! Help Me! So I have been doing brain age on my Wii, it's supposed to help. The problem with that is somedays my "brain age" is 10-15 years older than me!

CP- Don't ever feel bad, or let others make you feel that way, when you need to air your feelings too! I have friends in all shapes and sizes and I don't think any of us is supremely confident in every aspect of their bodies and themselves. You are just as entitled to your issues as they are to theirs!

[MouseWife]

Geesh, body image and women.

I could list from my toes up to the gray spikey hairs that pop out of the top of my head. That would be too depressing and long so I won't.

But, what I do want to mention is this. My sis and I, both in our early 40's, well, we do the best we can. Kids and life taking their toll and we go with the flow and just try and age as gracefully as we can. Using sunscreen, trying to eat as best as we can and do good things for us and our kids.

Then, our younger niece, about 35, constantly has surgery. Her mom {our sis} tells us how good she looks. Hello? Of course, she's had lipo and every other thing she can have done.

Where am I going with that? I don't know. Just the way that is and yah for her if she can afford it but why then should we be expected to say 'Yes, she looks better than we do after having 4 kids'. No f'in sheit. Hello, I could also be damn good looking if I forked out a ton of cash.

Irritating because she really does throw around rude comments about us and how she claims to eat well and exercise, like that is how she did it.

And, LSPoorEyorick, I also can wear the same clothes but have gained weight. I know they don't look the same and I feel quite self conscience about it when I go out. *sigh* I wonder if people say 'Hey, she used to look nicer in that...' but I think that they don't, it is just me and my low self esteem.

CP~ Feet. Like I said, that is where my list would begin....hope the new shoes work.