Man Commits Suicide at DLH

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Originally Posted by scaeagles

I have been so wishy washy on this this topic I have no idea really even how to organize all of the varied thoughts I've had on it over the decades.

There have been three times in my life I've had serious thoughts of suicide. I believe everyone has passing thoughts once in a while, but I did dwell on it for a long period of time. When I considered it, all three times would have been acts of selfishness.

Because of my own personal experiences with those thoughts, in which the situations varied widely, I am typically one who considers all suicide an act of selfishness. While the life does indeed belong to the person living it, the ramifications go far beyond the one life taken.

Then I think of the terminally ill, which included my mom, who died when I was 15 of Lupus, and I have to say that often times suicide in those cases would be considered unselfish. Good lord knows I went for years wishing it would just be over both for her and for the family.

This is one of those issues that I've never really been able to formulate a strong opinion on.

Very well stated, scaeagles. I do think it is a very personal topic. Suicide is, in most cases, a very selfish thing to do, but I'm also not sure a person should have to suffer a life he doesn't want for whatever reason. You had the presence of mind to measure your unhappiness against the consequences, and you chose life. That's a very brave and kind thing to have done, and obviously it's not a choice everyone is capable of making in the thick of depression.

I'm not a suicidal person, in that I've never been miserable enough to consider it as the best possible option. And if someone I loved was considering suicide, I'd certainly want to help him or her to see an alternative if I knew what was going on, because things do have a way of getting better. I also assume for many medication would help, if only they sought the help. At the end of the day, though, I stand by my belief that a person has a right to choose for herself life or death. Selfish, yes. Criminal, no. Sad, regardless.

[innerSpaceman]

I can't really think of suicide as a selfish act. I'm kinda thinkin' someone who's really doing that has a few more pressing concerns than the effect of their actions on other people.


Yes, I agree the effect of one's actions on other people is very, very, very important. But the end of your own existence kinda trumps that in significance.


The priority of "manners" might be a little skewed in someone who's so distraught they're going to end their own life, huh?

[Prudence]

So it's selfish to commit suicide because of the effect it might have on others, but it's not selfish to require someone to stay alive against their will?

[Moonliner]

So I sorta missed the pulse of the board on this one.

I guess it's easy to be cavalier from 3,000 miles away. I can certainly see where you all feel closer to this event. My apologies if I offended anyone with my earlier post.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Originally Posted by Prudence

So it's selfish to commit suicide because of the effect it might have on others, but it's not selfish to require someone to stay alive against their will?

I would say "want someone to stay alive" rather than require (though I suppose the law "requires"?), but I think they're both selfish to a certain degree. I just don't think all selfish acts are bad.

[Alex]

I want to point it out that I am not the one who right turned the thread to issues of morality, right vs. wrong, etc.


But I agree with EH1812 for the most part. However, if I am going to grant that suicide can be a rational choice then I have no issue with saying one should take certain other rational considerations into account, such as trying to minimize the impact of the act on others.

[Disneyphile]

Ok, how can I say this -

If someone is knowingly very ill (be it mentally or physically), and the family knows this as well, then I don't really see it as selfish, because their loved ones are considered in the decision.

However, I do see it as selfish when someone doesn't consider their loved ones at all, leaving those loved ones to blame themselves for the rest of their lives, and aren't discreet or at least private about it.

Does that make sense now?

I know surviving loved ones in both scenarios.

[alphabassettgrrl]

My only experience of suicide is of considering it as a teen but realizing what I really wanted was attention.

Then in 1995 my dad ended his life. No warning, out of the blue. I wish he'd said something, got some help. But he didn't, couldn't, wouldn't; something. It's sad.

That's different from someone who's got a terminal disease. I could see it if I had Alzheimer's or something.

I feel bad for anyone who is hurting enough to want to kill themselves. I wish they could get help so they don't have to feel that anymore. Selfish? Maybe. Not really their consideration at that point though. Immoral? Hard to say.

[CoasterMatt]

I have seen suicide from a different angle - I was a peer counselor in high school, and worked a suicide prevention hotline through most of college.

I don't know anymore if it's a selfish act. Is it anymore selfish than the grieving loved ones left behind, who often times say "How could you do this to ME?" I do know, it's important for people to take care of each other, before they feel that they have no other course.

There's always somebody out there to listen, just keep talking.

[€uroMeinke]

What's wrong with being selfish?