Mortality

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by lindyhop

I hope that I can do better with my growing family and that I'll be eulogized as the fun and loving grandma and great-grandma when the time comes.

I'm sure you will.

I'm curious - why do you think you aren't as involved as the rest of the family? If it's a sensitive subject, never mind.

I don't want to speak for him, but GD's mother's parents were very different people. It's amazing seeing some people very boisterous and others being very straight-laced. Even if everyone is on good terms it can be hard to feel a connection when you really don't understand each other's impulses and temperament.

On the other hand, my family is all a bunch of Alpha types that can't get along because they are too similarly stubborn and self-absorbed.

[Strangler Lewis]

We left New York in 1976, and I have relatives back east that I haven't seen since then. The others I've seen at most once or twice. Every time I've been back to New York, I've been faced with the dilemma: do I see the family? I've always opted not.

Part of the problem is that I always deferred to my parents on the issue of how much connection to maintain. If they didn't want to keep up, why should I make a big deal? Of course, part of their unwillingness to visit was financial, but part of it was due to ancient enmities. As for the east coasters' unwillingness to visit us, some of it is seriously due to the fact that there are earthquakes in California.

I have another trip coming up, this time probably only to Philadelphia but still within shouting difference. I won't be seeing the family. Fortunately, my mother understands.

[lindyhop]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

I'm curious - why do you think you aren't as involved as the rest of the family? If it's a sensitive subject, never mind.

I can remember having a babysitter so my parents could go out without my sister and me exactly once. My parents didn't have a social life. In the beginning my dad's family was very close. I can remember getting together for each individual birthday. Then some of my mom's family moved to California and that split our time somewhat. And then when my older cousins got married and had families there just was no way everyone could get together even on major holidays. So that left my parents and my sister and our families and none of us have the same need to be together very much. I like not being suffocated by family but it's hard to change the habit and stay in touch with the people I want to be close to.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by lindyhop

I can remember having a babysitter so my parents could go out without my sister and me exactly once. My parents didn't have a social life. In the beginning my dad's family was very close. I can remember getting together for each individual birthday. Then some of my mom's family moved to California and that split our time somewhat. And then when my older cousins got married and had families there just was no way everyone could get together even on major holidays. So that left my parents and my sister and our families and none of us have the same need to be together very much. I like not being suffocated by family but it's hard to change the habit and stay in touch with the people I want to be close to.

My parents are similar to yours. We were almost never babysat. We did see the family a lot when I was younger but instead of distance, it was drama that drove everyone apart. I now make a point to see my grandmother, aunts/uncles and cousins at least once a season. I have to manage it on my own as my parents aren't speaking to any of them. My mom's family is all abroad so this is all we've got. My parents always secretly wanted to be isolated anyway. Driving for more than 15 min or having people over stresses them out. They are no good at social interactions. I have no idea how I got as social as I am (which is still problematic but much less so). Maybe I have more of my aunts in me than I ever thought.

[€uroMeinke]

Seems another one of my classmates passed away this weekend. Brain cancer.

Carpe diem

[Strangler Lewis]

Who?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke

Seems another one of my classmates passed away this weekend. Brain cancer.

Carpe diem

Wow. My condolences.

[€uroMeinke]

Starlynn (Bechtal) Tonkinson - she was a year ahead of us. Didn't know her all that well, but still serves as a reminder.

[Strangler Lewis]

Indeed. I don't think I knew her, but it's still sad. It's also proof that Starlyn and variations is not a good thing to be named in Tustin.